Wednesday, September 28, 2005

i think i might have problems.


just what i needed - the perfect music-obsessed project that i can devote hours to, and think about, and listen to, and research online. like recreating all of my mix tapes as playlists wasn't enough (hey, it gets cold here in winter. i need shit like that). thanks, blender, for feeding into my ocd.

so blender published a list of the 500 greatest songs recorded "since you were born" (since i am no longer in the desirable 18-25 age bracket, the fact that i was born in 77 is embarrassing and they just did the best songs recorded between 80 and now). it wasn't enough for me to read this list and their sometimes right-on commentary, but no, i had to recreate the list with all of the songs i own as a playlist, in the correct order, and then listen to it, and think about what is placed where and what's missing. i have 190 of the 500, not bad considering i don't really own a lot of obscure rap and hip-hop (do YOU have a copy of #68, "that's the joint" by funky 4+1?) and I DON'T LIKE CRAP (except for when i do).

everyone knows that blender is the music version of fhm or stuff or small-dick complex or whatever "laddie" magazine that it's an offshoot of, but i have a mysteriously free lifelong subscription (i have never sent them a dime, and they have followed me through at least three moves) and they tend to cover some pretty good stuff. plus, it's always good to know what's going on in suge knight's world. just so i know.

some observations:

this made me laugh - and it's true, although i consider live one of my life-long guilty pleasures, even though everything since secret samadhi has sucked, some of it downright embarrassingly so: "#475 - I Alone - Live - Great, blustery, mystical grunge from a truly horrible band."

the REM selections left a lot to be desired - "losing my religion" (#79), "everybody hurts" (238), and "man on the moon" (#482). um, no murmur (any of it, any where)? did life's rich pageant never happen? no "strange currencies"? or "orange crush," "turn you inside-out," "nightswimming," "e-bow the letter," etc, since you refuse to recognize anything pre-warner brothers? zounds!

i suddenly have the inexplicable urge to acquire steve perry's "oh sherrie" (#210).

it hurts my feelings - really - that some of my favorite songs were placed so low on this highly-subjective list. jeff buckley's "last goodbye" is #423, the flaming lips' "do you realize??" is #447 (and how they can completely ignore the soft bulletin basically eradicates any respect that one should even grant this list), nirvana's "heart-shaped box" is #352 and - i'm sorry, but this is just wrong - "bittersweet symphony" is #241. keep in mind that phil collins' "in the air tonight" is #41 and "pour some sugar on me" is #22. i fucking hate def leppard. always have and always will.

surprising to see, but happy for it: wilco, spoon, pulp, belle & sebastian, rilo kiley, lots of pixies, "people who died" by jim carroll, ryan adams, johnny cash's cover of "hurt," pavement, the jam, lcd soundsystem, at the drive-in, my bloody valentine, elastica, the arcade fire, the darkness, the von bondies, old 97s.

they got some bands and musicians right but seemed to choose their singles and not what are really their best songs.

it is inexcusable that aerosmith's "i don't want to miss a thing" made the list at all, even at #499 (there is no way in hell that coldplay's "yellow," at #500, is worse than that utter piece of shit, and even if you don't like coldplay you have to agree).

here is the top 20, just so you have an idea. the blender website has #151-500 listed but i am not willing to type #21-150 for you. even i have limits to my sad obsessions.

1. billie jean - mj
2. b.o.b. - outkast
3. sweet child o mine - g'n'r
4. one - U2
5. smells like teen spirit - nirvana
6. like a prayer - madonna
7. love will tear us apart - joy division
8. sucker mcs - run-dmc
9. baby one more time - britney spears
10. in da club - 50 cent
11. my name is - eminem
12. the message - grandmaster flash & the furious five
13. fight for your right - beastie boys
14. you shook me all night long - ac/dc
15. hey ya - outkast
16. i want it that way - backstreet boys
17. super freak - rick james
18. i'm coming out - diana ross
19. just like heaven - the cure
20. the show - doug e. fresh and the get fresh crew

. . . so there you go. i'm a huge fan of music - and i will be the first to admit that i am perhaps too forgiving of not-very-good bands and that tucked amongst some of the most amazing albums ever recorded i also own some highly questionable and downright bad music - but this list is really just way too across-the-board for me to get behind it. it sure did give me something to obsess over for a few days, though. bring on the next fixation.

5 comments:

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SarahP said...

"they got some bands and musicians right but seemed to choose their singles and not what are really their best songs."

I think this comment is spot on. I mean, if I could choose to have Britney Spears and all her songs disappear forever, I would. That being said, I do like SOME of her songs. Baby One More Time is not one of them. Why not Stronger? That song is actually awesome. Or Boys? And why why WHY is Backstreet Boys on there at all? That song isn't even a good guilty pleasure. If they wanted to choose a boys band, *NSync's Bye Bye Bye would have been far better.

I am really really happy that The Cure cracked the top 20, though, and I really do love Just Like Heaven. (Letter to Elise is my true favorite, but it's a little slow and depressing to make a "best pop songs" list.)

Anonymous said...

Amusing that they listed My Bloody Valentine's "Only Shallow" as "Only Swallow."

lostsatellite said...

the one thing that makes the top twenty list interesting is Joy Division at number seven...