Monday, October 31, 2005

i'm pretty - i don't have to be talented.

tc was over on friday and when she checked her email she was like "i guess the house of blues considers me a good customer, because they're offering me up to six tickets to see gavin rossdale's new band. tickets are four bucks."

four bucks? sure, i'll go. i'd even go for eight bucks. but probably not nine. they sold on ticketmaster for $27.50 ($742 including ticketbastard charges).

she bought four. no one else wanted to go with us.

the first opening band was sincerely terrible. i think they wanted to be the kills - a drum machine, a girl with hair in her face who kinda writhes around, a guy who acts really INTO it. her lyrics sucked and the songs were lame. they were called the come downs or the count downs or something - a quick google search really didn't help, and i don't care enough to investigate any further. the other opening band, big city rock, bad name btw, was pretty retarded. amateur hour. they probably think that they come off like the strokes, but tc suggested that it was more like rick springfield. nice brown leatherette jacket, dude. the way that you halfheartedly threw it to the ground to make a point (or something) was really original. sometimes i think the singer wanted to come across as bono. other times, like springsteen. i was just happy that my drink was heavy on the vodka and light on the cranberry.

so institute came out, and they played four of their new songs. all of the guys had on kiss/monster face paint - it is halloween and all - but gavin just had fake blood on his shirt. he's MUCH TOO PRETTY to wear halloween face paint, you see. actually, tc and i discussed the percentage of people we felt were there to see if he is still hot and/or hope to catch a glimpse of gwen (about 75%) and how many people were there because the tickets they got were four bucks (the remainder). then you must also consider how many people were willing to spend four whole dollars to see if gavin has aged well and/or if gwen was there . . .

their songs are like bush songs. sludgy. grunge. totally 1994. lyrics that don't really matter, they just sound sort of vaguely intelligent when strung together (or maybe not - "i've got a machinehead"). the fifth song they played was "everything zen," which only proves that institute isn't a band per se, but three guys willing to back gavin (pay is 80 bucks a day, don't make direct eye contact and DON'T LOOK AT MY WIFE). then they played some more institute songs - tc and i had played some clips on itunes after we purchased tickets and laughed at how entirely dated "boom box" is (lyrics: "this boom box needs batteries"). then they threw in "machinehead" for good measure and closed with "when animals attack." zzzzzzzzzzzzz. we wanted to shout out a request for "i'm just a girl."

worst yet was gavin himself. that hair looked both strangely greasy and strangely poufy - notaso good. i guess he's attractive, but take away the accent and the guitar and you immediately remove 8 points. his dancing was awe-inspiringly bad - kinda prancy, kinda spastic, when he wasn't jumping up and down or striking the annoying savior arms-outstretched rockstar pose. tc said "his dancing makes me believe boy george." also, he dry-humped the amp for an uncomfortably long time. i realized tonight that i think gavin rossdale and jared leto are the same person. if not jared leto, then jordan catalano for sure.

i give the show a C. maybe a C-. it could be lower, but it was cheap (actually, i scored tc an apartment in my building, so she paid for my ticket), and i had a bush t-shirt when i was 17. i actually saw them in milwaukee right before i graduated from high school, but it was an all-day radio station festival thing, so i'm sure i enjoyed the four songs they played that day. so nostalgia wins. and, sorry, but a starbucks medium coffee costs more than our tickets did.


c said...

Poor Gavin! At least he's got Gwen.

SarahReznor said...

I used to like Bush but Gavin lost it when he met the bitch. I’m sure she pulled a Yoko on them. He probably thought the amp was his wife, equally loud AND flat! Sorry about the $4 :)