Wednesday, December 07, 2005


have no fear. i have returned. why is it so cold here? i know that i grew up two hours northwest of my current home, and went to college an hour and a half due north, also on lake michigan, yet i am always surprised when december hits and i want nothing more than eternal bed with my purple thermal blanket and some tea with milk, sugar and hit biscuits. cd visited me last december and he made it clear that he would never again return before spring. since i am back from california, nevada and arizona, i broke out the sheep-wool-lined boots that are actually warmer if you don't wear socks, and my green sparkly leg warmers make walking outside tolerable. the fact that they are awesome doesn't hurt.

thanks to tb, sf and jc for all of the excellent forwards while i was gone. here are some early chrismakah presents for you:

spike jonze directed the best gap commercial ever. which wasn't an acheivement entirely difficult to accomplish, but it's just as great as you'd expect from him. it's too bad that he and karen o split up, because they would have had the weirdest little babies ever. click here to watch.

sometimes you get what you deserve. i hope that this is from a telemundo soap opera. otherwise, i can not imagine where else in the history of television this would have been permissable. click here.

sf has dreams. real, cheese-smothered dreams. one day he would like to open a nacho emporium. we often sit at bars eating inferior nachos and discussing possible combinations: bbq chicken nachos with monterey jack! blue corn tortillas with warm chipotle mustard and tomatoes! sf wants to name his establishment "notcho nachos" - as in, these nachos do not belong to you. that might just be the booze talking, but he found that he is not the only male chicagoan with a serious nacho fetish: i can not even venture to guess how he found it.

payback is a bitch. click here.

i read the rolling stone with madge on the cover and i am seriously sick of listening to her self-righteous self-promoting self-obsessed bullshit. i do love the new video, though - miss prissy from rize is in it. watch "hung up" here. but this is awesomely snarky and hilarious: a blogger with a fine eye for detail unveils who esther is copying these days. i guess bea arthur is next, because she's run out of new identities. the shapeless flowing fabrics, the dry wisecracks, the short-yet-fluffy silver hair . . . goddamn that's hot.

since i have an older brother, i was fed a steady diet of violent movies and good music growing up. i balanced my babysitters club and judy blume books with stallone, schwarzenegger, chuck norris, and buddy-cop movies. did you ever see the dead pool? i've seen it at least ten times (but not for at least ten years). it was the last dirty harry movie, and a pre-fame jim carrey plays a rock n roll heroin addict that lip synchs badly to "welcome to the jungle" and guns n roses show up in his funeral scene. that's not the point, though: the point is that you should get in on this dead pool for 2006. ag and i played "hope or pope?" for years - YEARS - because bob and john paul held on forever. all you have to do is come up with 100 names and five bucks a month.

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