Monday, December 26, 2005

xmas and robots


just took a scary-ass cab ride from the train station back to my quiet apartment - roommate still gone, the streets empty. i hate the fact that i have to work this week. my cab ride sucked because the driver was going from zero to forty in half-block increments and then slamming back on the breaks. he was like "sorry i have to go fast - i am supposed to be driving someone else. i got a call to go in the opposite direction." i guess i was just tired because i was like "whatever. don't crash." he said okay, and we didn't.

so xmas is over. the true wonderment and magic of the season just didn't bother with me this year. i didn't send out any cards, and i usually send handwritten letters and mix cds to friends i don't get to see very often. i didn't really want anything this year, probably because now that i am a proper adult i can just buy stuff that i need and anything that i really want (car, condo, doggy, a date that doesn't suck, the end of the charade called the "war on terror") don't really belong on a list for my parents to go fetch. i am thankful for the nice things i received: 400-count sheets, some cash, the fact that they took me to ireland this summer. tb gave me a glass ring that has white-stripes-esque peppermint-candy circles embedded into it, some coffee, and a rad white zippered pouch with clint eastwood in cowboy gear stenciled onto it. db gave me some lipgloss and some black eyeshadow. we had a nice xmas eve and day - went to the basillica in milwaukee, ate too much food, saw my mom's family, played with the doggies. our grandma didn't get us anything this year. she is just as indifferent towards christmas as i am, i guess.

i'm boring myself with this post. i will say that i am proud to announce that i sent in my dead pool list to te and paid my $5 for january. i'll post that momentarily.

db and our dad went to the mall today. the valley of the kings store is, amazingly, still open. db and i happened upon it last year at christmas and busted out the camera to take photos of the craptastic bullshit that the store sells: samurai swords, king tut endtables, black velvet paintings of white tigers, lamps that make waterfall noises and feature panels that rotate so that it appears that the bad painted-on dolphins are swimming. if it is gold-plated, vaguely magical/mystical/lame and looks like something that a life-long stoner would want in his living room to stare at while spacing out, it is in valley of the kings. we talked to the guy that owns it and he was more than happy to pose for photos with db, swords crossed. he got kind of creepy when he excitedly showed us the leatherette wallets emblazoned with "pussy wagon" (willy wonka font - shout out to kill bill), and he was kinda leering in general. we appreciated the photo opportunities, though, and the other patrons (guys in thick glasses with airbrushed wolf sweatshirts) just sort of stared at us as we ooohed and ahhhed over the warlock statues, unicorn coatracks and the like.

so anyway, we went to the mall and i almost bought a pair of fake-gold hoops with the word "jesus" in the middle at the dollar store, but i just felt like that would be kind of mean, and my dad wouldn't have thought that was half as hilarious as i did for the ten seconds that i found them totally amazing, so i didn't buy them. i DID look for "carrie" earrings, though, to complete your sex in the city halloween costume, sp, but no good.

okay, this is super boring, so i will leave you with one of my favorite snl moments ever. i remembered it this morning while our dad was watching a law and order rerun and i said to db, "hey, remember the sam waterson robot insurance commercial?" and we happily googled it so we could watch. god bless the cyberweb and god bless sam waterson. db and i used to watch serial mom on a bi-weekly basis. click here to learn how you can protect yourself for when the metal ones decide to come for you - and they will.

2 comments:

Timmy C. said...

One of the Goooooogle ads on this page:

http://www.used-robots.com/

Disappointingly, they seem to be serious.

SarahP said...

I got a shout out. I feel so famous! Also, I loved that SNL robot ad. I can't believe other people remembered it!