Monday, January 09, 2006

the death of sad sack.

so much today!

doggies and kitties are being poisoned. if you are a cheap asshole who buys your pet the toxic brands diamond, country value, or professional, they are being recalled, as over 100 dogs have died from eating it. check out the article here - i love that the quarantined dog in the photo - who is fluffy and sweet and recently died - is named "sad sack." that's like steve martin's dog in the jerk, "shithead." except i grew up watching the edited-for-tv version that my brother taped off of nbc in like 1984, so i thought that his dog's name was merely "stupid." "sad sack" is sooo much better. click here for all of the brands that are being recalled. btw, the brand name "professional adult cat food" is really weird. "what's your cat like?" "oh, he's a professional adult."

this is sure to be the Worst Show Ever: jordan knight and jeff timmons on the "heartthrobs and hits tour." are they going to fellate one another on stage? how is it possible for one boyband member to sing the, er, "hits" of his defunct group? especially since i recall that jordan knight just provided the creepy falsetto for nkotb. and the other guy is from 98 degrees (so i read), a group that no one would remember if nick lachey hadn't married that talking blowup doll. they are playing in chicago at a place called "joe's bar." i guess "joe's living room" was already booked that night. it's the night before my birthday! that would be the shittiest birthday present ever. they're playing a casino in indiana on my birthday proper. tragic. thanks for the head's up, ab.

tedward kennedy is writing a children's book from the point of view of his dog. my question: is it from the viewpoint of splash or of sunny? mad props to ag for sending me the article along with the email subject of "news of the tedweird."

bookmark this if you have problems remembering the correct nuances of the english language or if you just like to read condescending corrections. rm sent it to me, expressing dismay that she thought that "anytime" was a real word. all i know is that spell check is always sure to tell me that i spelled "definitely" incorrectly - i am 28 years old and it will always be "definately" to me.

a step-by-step tutorial on how to become a republican, compliments of jp (warning: animation and music, if you live in a cubicle like me).

cwhortney love is a retard, and is apparently totally broke. nice that she sent kurt's sister out to live on the streets because buying crack is more important than paying the mortgage. but no one wanted to buy the house anyway. click here.

i would totally want to have an allen's coffee-flavored brandy week (day six: rob dry cleaners, just like dana plato) if i lived in maine. i lived in new hampshire for one ill-advised year, and mainers are . . . special. i love it when the washington post busts out random features like this.

the brilliant minds behind the superficial now bring us i watch stuff. i wish all of cyberspace were written by these people. great info on the upcoming adaptation of where the wild things are, written by dave eggers (heart!) and directed by spike jonze (heart heart!).

day two, week one update: i emailed my old college friend le, who is a lawyer in phoenix, and we are going to get together later this week when i am there for a conference. she married a hot british lawyer, so i ought to fucking hate her, but i am excited to see her, as it has been a good four or five years. i also emailed a middle school friend (!) looking for another one of our middle school friend's email address, as she sent me an xmas card and i want to say hey to her. see? progress.


Sarah P said...

My favorite part of that GOP conversion guide is the question "Would you rather have a million stupid mammograms or one kick-ass tomahawk missile?"

Anonymous said...

I am a Republican from Maine and I have many friends who drink Allen's Coffee Brandy. Drink it with milk, it tastes good, it makes you happy, and it cleans you out very nicely the next morning, and thus it keeps you from feeling like a New Hampshire Republican or a Vermont Democrat or a Washington Post reporter.

The real answer to the question is, "I'd rather have a Sombrero."

Sarah P said...

part two: Tedward's book is written from splash's point of view, FYI