Wednesday, January 04, 2006

douchebags never win: the jack abramoff story


i probably shouldn't still be alive after the new years week that i had. and it wasn't even because i drank too much (which i did). all i have to say is that when you rent a house in the hamptons for a mere grand for a week, and your share (including all food and booze as well as the house rental) comes to a grand total of $140, you are not allowed to complain. even if the house is stuffed with garage sale furniture, creepy toys, and closets overflowing with the worst clothes you have ever seen and drawers full of worn thongs, and smells bad, and has a lot of anal porn bootleg dvds, and you're too scared to sleep in the basement room that is decorated with aliens, you are not allowed to complain. and i'm not complaining. the company was top-notch, the pbr and champagne flowed, beerpong was played, and there was something to gape at everywhere you turned. i say that i probably shouldn't still be alive because i'm surprised that i wasn't strangled by the creepy owner (who was most likely watching from the shed all weekend), or at least sold into the sex trade, because that house most definitely serves as a set for the skankiest low-budget porns ever. and maybe a few snuff films. it made my skin crawl. but it was fukka FUN.

but now i am so far behind in my reading. my inbox resembles the pile of new yorkers that i am still wading through. so here are some notable and entertaining links for the time being.

larry david wont watch brokeback mountain because he knows what will happen if he does. read here.

old snl clip of will farrell as a terrible boss. "i am this close to raping you!" click here (five minutes long, might get you killed with a trident if you watch at work).

mr farrell can do no wrong, and his george w bush global warming report is hi-larious. watch here.

thanks to tb for the links.

cd sends me the best online previews. very excited for running with scissors (click here). wish i was more excited than i am for marie antoinette. i do like the punk attitude that sofia coppola has stamped on it, though, and i am curious to see just what molly shannon is doing in the film. click here for that.

this is totally weird: columbia records isn't going to release the new nellie mckay record. the one that is done. and supposed to be released tuesday. and has already been reviewed. i am fond of her, and i like her statement to the press, and wtf is wrong with record labels? countdown: three minutes until the entire album is posted online and no one gets to make any money off of it but anyone who wants to hear it can. click here for article.

hbs told me about pandora, an online jukebox that tries to turn you onto music based on what you tell the program that you like. fun to play with, but i still don't know how the arcade fire + jeff buckley + the verve = a gloria estefan recommendation. go here and see if maybe the new debbie gibson record gets a plug. i keed. no one would release a new debbie gibson record, not even that booth at great america where you pay $10 to sing over a crap song and get a cd of it to mail into star search.

isr sent me two gems: i could never tell if the online "how to have sex with a dolphin" websites were serious or not, but apparently the british woman that just married one is a contributor. i like her last quote in this article. and finally, all i have to say to this, is ewwww.

2 comments:

Sarah P said...

ACK! I was really loving Pandora--I think the way it works is much cooler than Launch, which is what I usually listen to--and it even played me some Perneice Brothers, but then...it played Bob Guiney!! Aka the Bachelor. I ask you: how do Barenaked Ladies, The Cure, Rilo Kiley and the Beatles add up to him?

Anonymous said...

Columbia also recorded an EP and a full-length by Splashdown, a unique, relatively unknown electronic group, and prepared the PR materials to boot, but decided not to release the albums.

Considering the sunk costs involved, as well as the fact that physically making the CDs is one of the cheapest parts of the process, one would think that the label would at least make a half-ass release effort... particularly as Splashdown had a radio-friendly sound.

Then again, what good decisions have major labels been making lately?