Sunday, January 15, 2006

god made me, and god don't make no junk.

came back from phoenix this evening. i fly so often that i am a "premier" member on united and i usually sit in business class but for whatever reason i was in first class tonight. i hope that this wasn't a fluke - that i have earned my spot since i am single-handedly delaying their bankruptcy - because i like feeling fancy. so ag and i watched bad tv and ate a sensible dinner of pierogies, bbq krunchers, reese's pieces, and diet coke. the diet coke really balanced it all out. so how bad was the tv? we went from dumb-but-addictive (america's next top model) to embarrassing (celebrity fit club 3) to totally depressing (intervention) to just bizarre (sex talk with that elderly canadian woman). in a few short words: eva pigford is the worst name ever for a model; gunnar nelson replaced the sad drug addict guy from grease even though he's not really all that chunked (just self-esteem issues - um, really? you? but you have so much going for you) and when he had his weigh-in, his pants' bulge was out of control; the 24-year-old on intervention was a prostitute alcoholic heroin addict mother from madison with insane man issues and totally depressed me; and some of nurse sue's discussion led ag and i to google peyronie's disease, which we decided must be the explanation for gunnar's physique.

that at&t commercial with the oasis song "all around the world" totally reminded me how much i love them. so stupid as people and, yes, derivative musicians, but i cain't help it.

ecf directed me to this book, which sounds like an idea i could do for a week in my Year of Something Different that i know better than to attempt. sounds good - and i like that the email subject line was "an exhausting life if you bang on the first date."

ag alerted me to the fact that jim traficant's artwork is no longer being sold on his website. railroaded again! read here.

she also alerted me to the fact that there are coyotes - lots of em - lurking around the city. in fact, urban coyotes live longer than suburbanites. probably because even coyotes know that the suburbs blow.

this article is an exploration of how the 300 millionth american will be born in (most likely) october, and discusses immigration, birth and death rates, and other nerdy but cool sociological/actuary information. read here.

i'm watching red dragon on usa. what an amazing cast - i saw it in the theater and promptly forgot about it. cleft palate or not, ralph fiennes is hott. on the flight out to phoenix they played just like heaven, which, despite a decent soundtrack and mark ruffalo, was retarded, and, on the way home, corpse bride, which i thought was too short. i love the maggot. i'm glad that hot topic has new merchandise opportunities with this movie - how many jack skellington hoodies can you sell?

so my first week in A Year of Something Different (contact old friends) was okay. i did manage to call (leave messages for) a few people, and i emailed a couple of friends i haven't talked to in a while, and i did get to play pool with rb, get drinks with suz and her boyfriend, and visit with lfe in phoenix. she is a marathon-running lawyer who also paints, and her gorgeous british husband cooked us dinner at their gorgeous house, and we got drunk on wine and played uno. i hadn't seen her in about four years, and it was great to catch up. good thing my favorite song isn't morrissey's "we hate it when our friends become successful."

week two is already off to a shaky start. it's No Swearing week. i have a filthy mouth. i drop expletives in casual conversation, i curse when i do something as benign as forget to pack conditioner when i travel, i invent new and creative ways to express displeasure. i consider the word 'fuck' to be completely versatile and, in some ways, comfortable. it's the verbal equivalent of my aldo boots. so No Swearing started off well enough - i spent the morning with other attendees at the conference in phoenix (and, as often as i swear, i utterly detest it when anyone does at work), didn't swear at anyone in the airport, felt too cultured in first class to curse out the flight attendants, and called my mom. then ag picked me up, and i wasn't in the car for more than four minutes when i said the f word (adjective) and, in response to me swearing, said, "dammit!" as we watched tv and ate dinner and chatted, i would swear and then say "pardon my language." i became aware of how often it just slips out, similar to "like" and "really" and "um." not good. at least i am thinking about it. we'll see if i can go through an entire day without swearing at all. and i won't swear for a week in emails or on scissors happy after this post, no matter how much i want to. so start taunting, assholes.

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