Thursday, February 02, 2006

i somehow managed to mention meth, corndogs, and mullets in this post. it's like going back to my hometown.

most people have seen this story, and like everyone i know forwarded it to me, as everyone knows how i feel about meth and child stars. stephanie tanner was a meth addict! i bet that bitch kimmie gibbler got her into it. you know that your life is in shambles when the fucking olsen twins are at an intervention for you. it doesn't sound like dave coulier was at her intervention - there is something so hateful (and totally unfunny) about that man. special thanks to sp for sending me links and for indulging my meth obsession.

remember how i talked about how much i hate fred phelps a few days ago? ag read his wikipedia page and was entirely creeped out by him. she sent me this part: Phelps also wrote a book in the 1980s with his son-in-law, Brent D. Roper, called The Conspiracy. In the book, Roper and Phelps claim to possess evidence that AIDS spontaneously generated in Africa; Truman Capote contracted the disease during an orgy with African tribesmen; Capote then gave the disease to John F. Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe by playing football with them; and that the CIA assassinated all three to prevent the spread of the disease. Phelps published and distributed the book himself; it was also sold in the back ofPeter J. Peters catalogue of extremist literature, and thus became a widely circulated text among such groups as the Ku Klux Klan, Aryan Brotherhood, and Christian Identity. riiiiiight. i totally missed that part in capote. i know that it's wrong to hope that others burn in hell, but that's exactly where fred phelps belongs.

tb sent me the funniest video i have seen in a while: trent reznor performing "eyes without a face" with his craptastic new wave band in the 80s. i mean, you have to start somewhere, right? even the Dark and Disturbed used to rock curly mullets and LA gear shoes.

ICK. but a good fyi. go to this website. enter your address. up pops a map with a little house where you live and some colorful dots. those dots would be where registered sex offenders live. if you click on the dots you can see their mug shots and info. puuuuuuuuuuuuke!!!! i guess i'd rather know, though. i guess.

oh, craig's list. how you amuse me. you are the absolutely wrong place to find a roommate (and i speak from experience), a normal date (i can only assume), or a job (unless the kind of job you're looking for is of the hand or of the blow). you could trade in your nasty old flip flops for $5 (foot fetishist), find a new dance partner (this guy had to post an online ad? i swear i run into him every time i make the ill-advised decision to go dancing), party with two really hott dudes (this one is actually really funny), or - and this is so sexy it hurts - re-enact the rescue-princess-leia-from-jabba's-lair scene with a large-and-in-charge lady in buffalo. i think that jk sent all of those to me. work much, jk?

he also sent me this list from mcsweeney's:

Responses to People on the 6 Train That Hopefully Convey My Feelings in a Polite Way.
- - - -
Thank you for so gently cupping my ass when we came to a stop.
Clipping your fingernails is such a good use of time.
You partially sitting on my lap makes me feel like we are good friends.
That was wise of you to get onto the subway before that elderly woman was able to get off.
Would it be easier to stare at my breasts if I turned a little to the left?

i'm on day five of being a vegan. it's not as hard as i had thought it would be, but i also am looking forward to sunday, when i can eat meat and dairy again. it's super bowl sunday, and you know what that means: halftime spectaculars, supposedly-innovative commercials, and CORNDOGS.


Anonymous said...

There were a total lack of sex offenders near my home as a youth in Syracuse. I am very offended!

Sarah P said...

holy crap, that link for "kimmie gibbler" is insane. Some people are perhaps unhealthily obsessed with soaps. (But who knew that she was also Carrie Brady?)

Anonymous said...

Kimmy Gibler link is very frightening