my I Have A Dog Week is in full swing. js's dog is a pekinese/shih tzu mix with white fur that kind of dreads and is curly and nappy (but super soft, like lambchop). hence, his name is marley. i was off when i estimated that he weighs eight pounds - more like 20. i don't know how he can see from behind all of the fur that hangs in his face, and i love his underbite - he looks like the monster that lives under your bed. we watched grizzly man last night and he kept growling at the bears and foxes that were in the movie. he puked on the floor monday night and shit on the dining room rug both yesterday when i was at work and this morning (immediately after taking a dump outside). js and tb told me not to worry about the messes that he will inevitably make - he's in a different apartment with a stranger who leaves him alone for ten hours a day. it is super nice to come home to a little furry monster that is going apeshit because he is SO HAPPY to see you. he likes to cuddle up on the couch and he sleeps with me, and he wakes me up in the morning by licking my face and squeaking. he's super cute. he's like a stuffed animal come alive.
hmmm - what's more annoying: people that only talk about their dogs or people that only talk about OTHER PEOPLE'S dogs?
here are some collected items to make your day just that much more tolerable:
natalie portman is one fierce bitch. watch her rap on snl. yeah, keep that volume low if you're at work. thanks for link, jmk.
in honor of being in puerto rico a mere four days ago (and it feels like it's been weeks already), here is info on the new jlo/marc anthony movie that they're filming. now, i think that jlo is an overexposed mess of a bitch, and her husband is totally unattractive and creepy, but this sounds like an amazing story, and i just hope that they don't fuck it up. info from popbitch:
Salsa's Bad Boy gets revival: Marc Anthony is the new Hector Lavoe
It's been fun ridiculing everything Jennifer Lopez has done for years, but that might have to stop as we hear she's put in a remarkable performance in her new film, El Cantante. J-Lo stars as the wife of Puerto Rican superstar Hector Lavoe, played by real-life husband Marc Anthony.
Lavoe was the first latin music superstar, and known as "Salsa's Bad Boy." His life story makes Motley Crue look like girly swots. Lavoe lost his mother aged four years-old and was disowned by his father for becoming a singer in New York. Lavoe turned to alcohol and drugs, and his career collapsed in the mid-70s thanks to his heroin addiction. In 1987 the Lavoes' house was destroyed by fire, Hector's brother died of an overdose, his mother-in-law was brutally murdered and his 17 year-old son was accidentally shot to death by a friend.
A year later Lavoe jumped off the ninth floor of a hotel to commit suicide. He survived, but died of AIDS five years later.
one of my most favorite things in the world is paint-by-numbers. i've done a few sets in recent years, but i don't ever do them the way that you're supposed to. i really need to go back to the "large cats of the animal world" set i have that i was doing in shades of green and blue (it seriously looks like shit) and figure out a better way to make it rad. this artist's work makes me happy.
the argument: rock is the devil's music, and will lead to sin and probable death. if i am guilty for listening to it, the creators of it are surely punished by god for it. check out this chart of untimely deaths for evil sinning musicians. a lot of these people barely qualify as "rock stars."
click here to watch a live-action reproduction of the simpsons opening credits.
i love found objects. i wished i had my camera with me when i was walking in roscoe village last week because i saw, trapped into a frozen puddle, a small stuffed purple gorilla that was really dirty but also strangely beautiful. on the same street is an imprint of a rat in the sidewalk that js and i always walk past and wonder if it was a practical joke or if a rat really did die in the wet concrete. i'm a huge fan of found magazine (although dirty found can make my skin crawl) and i discovered a found objects livejournal that's pretty great. the best post i've seen thus far is of this craptastic david bowie comic book.
ag and i got totally fucking excited one night when we were flipping channels looking for something worthwhile to watch and hit the big-time: a discovery channel special on children who were raised by wolves. this article is not as totally awesome, but is definitely totally fucked up and cool: a family who have a genetic disorder that thus leads them to walking on all fours.
speaking of genetic disorders, i said the dumbest shit ever last night. it was so dumb i have to report it here. i was talking with someone about marfan's syndrome, which she noted that abraham lincoln had. and then i asked, "is that how lincoln died?" and then i started laughing at how retarded that was.
first of all, this is insanely tacky. that said, it looks all wrong - the hair resembles the bleached-out cornrow braids that axl rose has been wearing (and they hated one another), and i don't recall his physique being anywhere near this healthy-looking, and the shoes are wrong, and the guitar is wrong, and the jeans are way too LBJ (light blue jeans), so i really cannot endorse this product whatsoever. i am curious to know how much they're charging for this piece of crap, however. i'm sure poor suffering cwhoretney gets a cut.
i was just sent this filmstrip (beeep!) that was a great civics lesson (beeep!) and ought to be required viewing for all third-graders (beeep!). turn down your volume at work, although it is all fact.
and, finally, as this post is getting long (maybe more later), morrissey revealed that the smiths will not reunite, not even for the $5 million they were offered. he revealed this at a panel discussion at sxsw. what an amazing week that austin is hosting. i can't wait for lollapalooza 06 - the lineup came out yesterday and it is a kick-ass roster.
here is my holy-shit-i-am-excited-they're-at-lolla-this-year list:
kanye west, the raconteurs, the flaming lips, ween, ryan adams, sleater-kinney, red hot chili peppers, matisyahu, wilco, queens of the stone age, common, the shins, sonic youth, broken social scene, the new pornographers, eels, the dresden dolls, andrew bird, stars, editors, lady sovereign, feist, aqualung, the go team, and of montreal.
there are a few bands that i have absolutely no desire to bother with (am i the only person who thinks that death cab for cutie and iron and wine are total bores?) but i now have a lengthy list - and five months - to catch up on my listening so i know what i'm passing up (or must manage to get to).
chicago's summer is looking fierce, friends - we have the intonation music fest coming up in june (the streets, lady sov, bloc party) and the pitchfork music festival (it's all about spoon for me; the rest are just added bonuses) in july, and then the next weekend is lollapalooza. i am going to be tanned, drunk, at shows and happy, which is just how summer should be.