Tuesday, May 09, 2006

you have been alerted. google with caution.


jk and i were emailing last week about the usual bullshit: what we ate for lunch, how bored we were, random pop culture references. jk’s office has swear-word filters; every email that contains questionable content is “quarantined” and he can’t read it until the IT department releases the quarantined list at noon and at four. sometimes our conversations will stop dead in their tracks because i forgot and accidentally typed something i shouldn't have. i figured out last week that the software does not recognize “shitty” (nor “cuntface”), so that is my new all-purpose swear word when emailing with him. here is a transcription of our exchange right after i sent him the correct lyrics to the three’s company theme song.

jk: ooooh! I got it now. "Down at our rendezvous"!!! Not "donna rannie tay voooo"
You have answered one of the big mysteries of my life!

me: don't thank me. thank google.

jk: modest.

me: not really. i forgot to tell you: i AM google.

jk: Well, if you're Google, then I wonder if I should be embarassed about some of the things I've asked you to search for?

me: what if god invented google to keep tabs on us?

jk: whoa...you just got my gears turning. Maybe G.O.O.G.L.E. stands for some big god-like anagram. God Observes Our...???

me: God Observes Our Good, Lesser, (and) Evil.

HOLY SHITTY WE MUST TELL THE WORLD!!!

jk: "Holy Shitty"! My boss was just standing right next to me when I read that, and I laughed REALLY hard. Really though, we must alert the media.

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