Tuesday, June 27, 2006
so much since last week!
i had my move, which actually went fabulously and i am so happy to have my own apartment. i was emailing with sp yesterday and discussing moving, and i reminisced about how horrible moving always is for me. in the summer of 1999 i moved to new hampshire to work for the americorps, and due to a huge fuckup, i didn't have an apartment to move into, which the americorps was supposed to have secured for me. i ended up having to store all of my stuff in an administrator's garage and crashed on other americorps members' (strangers) floors. when i was moving from new hampshire to dc my grandfather died, so my parents and i had to rush down to the city, throw my shit into my new place, and fly home. i hired movers in the spring of 2001 to move to a new place, and not only were they dicks in general, they didn't even come until the next day (they cancelled on me around 9 pm after i had waited around all day, calling and getting increasingly more irate). when i moved from dc to chicago, we had underestimated the size of the truck i would need, so my dad and i ended up picking things out of the back to toss into the dumpster, which was kind of traumatic. so i seriously hate moving, yet seem to do it every year. this year was great - four guys who busted ass and wrapped everything in blankets and tons of tape. i was out of the old and into the new in two hours. i had been putting my shower curtain up when one of them was like "miss? do you like?" and showed me the front room, where they had arranged my couch, armchair, tv stand, tc, coffeetable, and bookshelf, and it looked great. i love usa movers and if you live in chicago and need a mover, call them.
last friday's wapo was a total downer. first they do an article on how a quarter of americans feel that they have NO ONE that they can confide in (oh, blog, i am so blessed to have you), and then they covered a candidate who was running for maryland's governor who dropped out of the race because of his crippling depression, and then a feature on how the public's perceptions of depression has changed, especially when concerning their politicians. this all reminds me of the onion study "depression hits losers hardest." oh, and there was a terror sect's plan to bomb the sears tower and the fbi headquarters. DEPRESSING.
read here about the unfortunate demise of what sounds like a true gem of a magazine. they need to get a website/blog, yo. paper magazines need to be amazing for them to survive (and people to even be interested). i'm look at you, radar - i want my money back. i only got two issues in the mail before it went under.
ag got a little obsessed with youtube this past week and sent me like 87 links to all sorts of randomness. here is the el debarge "who's johnny?" video. i fully contend that this is the worst pop song ever recorded: it was the theme song to a horrible movie (short circuit), the lyrics make absolutely no sense and are patently ridiculous ("who's johnny, she said, and smiled in that special way, who's johnny, she said, you know i love you" - wha wha what?), and the video is so horrendous that not even steve gutenberg would slum to be in it (i wonder if he got paid for them to use a CARDBOARD CUT-OUT of him. no wonder ally sheedy had problems with bulemia - i wouldn't be able to stop puking, either, if i had been in this video.
jmk sent this article - his email subject line was "sweet dreams." fanfuckingtastic. make sure to look under your bed before you go to bed tonight.
we are so seriously fucked. here's an article on what scientist think we should look into to cool the planet, since no one bothered to get off their dead asses and seriously consider global warming and its causes until like three days ago. one idea is to use some sort of giant mirror that faces the earth and blocks the sun's direct light. really? you think so? that's our best bet? yeah, we're all gonna die.
Monday, June 19, 2006
reason #37945825 to hate michael jackson: i just saw a chase credit card commerical with "all you need is love" as the song
fuck all this. i hired movers. friday afternoon. i don't need the stress anymore. god forbid i ever actually have real hurdles in my life. i'll crumble.
yesssss: jackass number two is coming soon. i saw the first one in the theater and i was crying i was laughing so hard. click here for the trailer.
so hilarious: i love the south park movie, and a memo from matt stone to the mpaa about what they were and were not willing to cut has shown up on some blogs. love the P.S. thanks to tb for forwarding.
rather entertaining quiz that measures how much of an obsessive freak you are about music. i scored a 62% (mega music nerd). it's from a blog called couplandesque, which i was hoping had something to do with douglas, but, err, no. click around - i thought that i had a lot of time on my hands.
sb sent me this clip of the great britain ukelele orchestra performing "smells like teen spirit." it's even worse than its description. click here.
i posted about the klimt painting that the nazis had stolen from an austrian family that was finally returned to the owner's descendants. it is now the most expensive painting ever sold at auction ($135 million). "The Klimt painting Adele Bloch-Bauer I will now be displayed at the Neue Galerie, a New York museum of German and Austrian art co-founded by cosmetics mogul Ronald S. Lauder." damn. that's a lot of money. read here.
even the washington post knows that screech is a loser.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
oh my god i am so sick of packing, planning and stressing out over moving. what's that old axiom that the most stressful things people have to go through are being sick, the death of a loved one and moving?
to ease my weary little mind, and yours, too, here are some fantastique clips.
jk sent this robot chicken clip of an awesome stop-action animated golden-girls-meets-sex-and-the-city clip. mob always told me that sex in the city utilized the same cliched characters that the golden girls did: the naive one (charlotte/rose), the slut (samantha/blanche), the stodgy one (miranda/sophia) and the horse-faced main character, the real glue of the story (get it? horse? glue?) - carrie/dorothy. this clip is pretty good and fairly gross. "no-denture adventure." too funny. and i love the "check, PLEASE!!" guy.
that clip leads logically to an article that that rb sent out recently, which she declared "the most disgusting news story of the year": old people with stds.
tb sent me this email, with the subject line "bizarre" - "my two favorite subjects... together, finally: 'Hitler' and 'Cats.'" so weird. i don't think i could love a kitty that looked like hitler, but maybe that's just because i'm more of a dog person. click here.
bronson pinchot, aka cousin balki, became a freemason. i didn't know that you could just sign up for that. this news is brought to you right from the source - the pennsylvania grand lodge website. hope my computer didn't drop any cookies when i was there looking. there is a guy at my job who looks like cousin larry. db met him when she flew in from denver and met up with me at my holiday after-party at a bar with a bunch of coworkers, and she was like "EWWW!!! he has total methmouth!!!"
i'm going to go continue packing, dusting and fretting now.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
i want moxie motive to play at lollapalooza, and you should, too. i would want them to play even if i didn't know todd, their drummer. they get to play with all sorts of indie superstars whenever they come to town (recently, tapes n tapes and cold war kids, which all of my favorite mp3 blogs are always salivating over), and they are in the running to win the unsigned band slot at lolla. click here to vote, which you can do daily (and use all of the email addresses you own that are valid - that would be three for me). go here to listen to/download four demos that they've been recording. they're really great, and even if they don't get to play lolla, they will have a following. you read that here first. both of you readers.
i know todd because he's tb's friend, and we are both participants of the 2006 dead pool that we pay $5 a month to participate in. my $60 was totally wasted, as 2006 is halfway over and NO ONE ON MY LIST has died. jerry lewis just had a mild heart attack, but he's still kicking. why pete doherty and natasha lyonne can't start dating and shooting one another up is beyond me - that would be like 140 points if they both died, enough to at least make me not come in last place. i complained to ecf that two people got 61 points for the death of al-zarqawi and he emailed "The world's only superpower is spending a billion dollars a day in an attempt to kill one man, and you didn't list him??? And he was only 39 ??? You'll get no sympathy from me, you brought this on yourself." good point.
worse, i learned a valuable lesson about research. i thought that brooke astor was 96 years old and, though a measly four points, a sure shoo-in for a date with the grim reaper. turns out that she is 104 years old. so if she dies, i will have NEGATIVE FOUR POINTS. even if no one on tb's list dies, he still wont lose if ms astor (who i believe may have been like paris hilton - minus the rotting crotch and nipslips - in the 20s) dies. so now i am forced to root for her to live. ironic. retarded.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
i am in love with henry rollins. he's hott. and totally intense, like a scary drill sergeant. i think that he would scream at me about how undisciplined and dispassionate my life is, and i would look at his slightly graying business-man haircut and huge search and destroy back tattoo and simultaneously cry and be completely turned on. he's smarter and funnier than any aging punk has a right to be, and he is my hero for his open letter to ann coulter. watch here; it is, like all good online clips, nsfw. btw, henry does a really funny/odd duet with william shatner called "i can't get behind that" on shatner's has been. they just sort of bitch about things that they hate - like student drivers - over a live drum freakout.
wanna vomit? dustin diamond - aka screech from saved by the bell - is packing 10 inches. he's still completely unattractive; in fact, this makes him strangely even more repulsive to me. read here about how he is also so broke that his house is going to be repossessed if you don't buy a lame t-shirt from him. plus, it's not like it's his malibu spread that he can't afford anymore - it's in wisconsin. my parents have a nice three-bedroom house on two acres of woods in wisconsin and it always really hurts my feelings to compare what you can get up there to what you can buy for the same amount of money in chicago (probably a one-bedroom condo in a neighborhood that you most likely wont be stabbed in), so screech is piss fucking broke. um, surprising?
slow news week? the new york times has a feature on wannabe contestants on the price is right, and the washington post has a feature on the superstitious hex on the play macbeth. both of these articles would have been timely in 1612.
Friday, June 09, 2006
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
you know what i seriously love about the
i know that i often complain about how lame my hometown is, and this is just another example: their piece of shit newspaper decided to write a feature about the everyone loves the huge cow statue that sits outside the oasis truckstop and ramada inn out by the interstate. jk forwarded it to me, because he still has childhood scars from growing up there, too.
ann coulter is a total cuntface and i'm glad that she's on their team and not mine. ironically, some people believe that she doesn't even believe what she says - she's like the sixteen-year-old kid who lashes out at his family by saying the worst things he can just to hurt them and just for the attention. she's a sociopath, and she is the human embodiment of a praying mantis.
i heart netflix (at home right now: walk the line and raising victor vargas) and this article does a good job of not only explaining how the company does their magic, but discusses the general landscape of how hollywood keeps releasing blockbuster tripe for the masses when really the american public is content with renting older, actually good films and series.
the onion av club, which i think is a treasure trove of smart, well-written clips and lists to kill time, has a list of 10 successful music artists with terrible names. i didn't see goatlord on their anywhere, but oh yeah, they said successful.
blender lists out the 50 worst songs of all time. i have four of them on my ipod, and none of them are even meant to be enjoyed ironically. actually, i have four and a half, if you include the radiohead/vanilla ice mash-up of "idioteque" with "ice ice baby." it's called "vanilla idiot" and it's actually just kind of creepy and not all that great, but i do love me some mash-ups.