Monday, July 17, 2006


chriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiist it's hot. i went to bed barf and beyond after work and bought a box fan (after leaving a "please help me and fix my window, i'm dying in here" message for my landlord). the box fan isn't really satisfying. it's just blowing a lot of air. i crave arctic air conditioning chills. i couldn't wait to go to work this morning just so i could sit in a room that was less than 85 degrees.

i found an ipod shuffle drinking game on the best week ever blog. yay!

if i were to play right now, this is how it would go . . .

1) "angel carver blues/mellow jazz docent (live)" - pavement. i don't have to drink at all. i am surprised that i don't have to drink because of the first rule ("Any song you have never actually listened to prior this moment"), since i have zero recollection that this song exists, much less what it sounds like. itunes claims that i last listened to it on 7/18/05 . . . hey wait, that's a year ago tomorrow! happy anniversary, angel carver blues/mellow jazz docent (live)!!!

2) "i am a man of constant sorrow" - the soggy bottom boys. okay, let's see . . . one drink because my parents have heard it (i burned them the o brother where art thou soundtrack), and another drink because they like it. one drink because the band starts with "the" and ends in a plural word. i would like to now declare that if my "man of constant sorrow" mashup (with gwen stefani's "hollaback girl" - it is called "constant sorrow hollaback girl" and works quite well) had popped up, i would probably make myself do a waterfall, since it is pretty much the paradigm of snobby-ironic-mp3-blog-downloading.

3) "this is it forever" - hood. what? who dat? okay, one for having never listened to this before. one because i think i got the hood album from em's ex-boyfriend - and i therefore didn't pay for it, which is a rule - as he brought over all of his cds once and he probably told me that i would like this album. and maybe i would. and maybe someday i will actually listen to it and find out.

4) "don't make me come to vegas" - tori amos. i'm gonna drink two for this one, due to the rule "Any song by a band you used to like, but now think is lame (drink twice if you just tell people you think the band is lame, but secretly still like them)." yes, i listened to boys for pele on my way to work this morning - and kept the ipod screen hidden when i was on the el, lest someone see and JUDGE me. tori's great . . . if you're 17 and depressed. also, this just so happens to be the best song off of her album scarlet's walk, and i know that it was on a playlist i made on my work computer in 2002, so i'll drink one for having this song on a mixtape.

5) "kick out the jams" - mc5. one drink cuz it's my only mc5 song.

so that would be nine drinks, plus a self-imposed waterfall. which i suppose is hard to accomplish if you are alone.

that was fun. and when i say "fun," i mean for being alone in my apartment on a smoldering hot monday night when there is absolutely nothing else going on. is this what "virtual reality" was supposed to lead to? rules for drinking pretend alcohol (that i read on my computer, written by a stranger that i will never meet but could easily communicate with in realtime if we instant-messaged) as i randomly shuffle through digital files of music on a small portable harddrive that plays the music files? where's my jetpack? why aren't i wearing a silver insulated jumpsuit?

speaking of virtual reality/virtually not embarrassing, the NERDIEST HOBBY EVER was unveiled to me accidentally yesterday (i went clicking around in my site meter to see who's been reading). apparently someone set up a fantasy blog stock market - as in, how much blogs would be worth if they were traded in the open market. this is supposedly measured by "the industries" that the blog serves, how many times other blogs link to it, how many links they post . . . scissors happy's "industries" were listed as female, chicago, english, USA, americas. my blog was valued at about $3500. in comparison, postsecret was valued at about $5.4 million, and dlisted is worth over $340k. i don't care what you say, blogshares - i'm worth more than $3k. I VALUE MYSELF. i do. anyway, check it out - whoever came up with this game or hobby or yet-another-way-to-ignore-reality . . . well, dude, that's pretty clever of you. now go outside and get some sun.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

you were offered a window AC unit FOR FREE and you turned it down, and I sold it to your friend for $35.