Monday, September 18, 2006

"this bowl will tell people that you are not a failure who spends weekends watching e! true hollywood story and drinking wine from a gatorade bottle"

pos sent me this mcsweeney's list of "refreshingly honest crate and barrel catalog descriptions." the mixing bowl commentary totally spoke to me. speaking of mcsweeney's, they have a new book of lists out - and the cover has a unicorn on it!

you really can't beat an opening paragraph like this: "A woman pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct in connection with a bizarre incident in February that resulted in a fake penis being microwaved at a convenience store." thanks to rb for always making sure i know what's really going on in the world.

excellent email subject line from jk: "apparently saddam has been watching too many kids in the hall reruns." click here for a threat that is now just funny.

i don't know what the fuck this is, other than a sure sign of the apocalypse, and that bc promised me one for my birthday.

anyone know what this photo is of the unidentifiable mammals in some guy's hand? photoshopped? i don't remember where i found it, but it's now my work computer's wallpaper. i want one.

i think carol, the elderly next door neighbor who i described in my post a few days ago about our prowler, is pissed at me. i called the landlord and told him what happened and reiterated that it's really not okay that carol can't even close her back door because of her totally necessary and important stack of phonebooks from 1983. she was standing in her doorway shuffling through papers and i went out for a cig and i said hi and she ignored me. it is entirely possible that she is completely deaf, though. god knows she never hears me when i tell her i have to go as she blathers on for a solid twelve minutes about how her callouses hurt. yes, she is that gross.

that's all i've got. going to downsyndrome grove tomorrow night for work. it's kinda lame to stay at a hotel less than 30 miles away from my apartment, but it's not like i'm paying for it. oh, but i am. not literally, but i am. i have jc and ng staying with me, though, so we're gonna play girl talk and braid each other's hair and maybe call boys.

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