Saturday, December 29, 2007

the 200GR8 mix

i started making and mailing out new years / holiday mixes for friends scattered and near a few years ago. the first one i made was almost all xmas music, but done by bands i like and a few classics thrown in, and ecf had the audacity to tell me what a piece of shit it was. now i just make mixes with my favorite songs of the year, with an emphasis on tracks that i doubt everyone has. almost all of these songs are finds from my beloved music blogs, and i can honestly say that i had not heard of over 80 percent of these bands a year ago.

i have to say that "going to a town" might win for my favorite song of the year. it's super sad and poignant and quietly political, and rufus has a beautiful voice. one track that i listened to non-stop this year is the arcade fire's "keep the car running" but i was pretty sure that everyone i made a cd for would already have it.

everyone who hears "thou shalt always kill" repeats random lines from it in a bad british accent for days afterwards.

make your own - go to hype machine and happy downloading!

200GR8!

1. all fired up - tralala
2. nicest thing - kate nash
3. collarbone - fujiya & miyagi
4. i go to the barn because i like the - band of horses
5. lake michigan - rogue wave
6. straight lines - silverchair
7. bounce that - girl talk
8. you made me like it - 1990s
9. bad education - tilly & the wall
10. stuck for the summer - two hours traffic
11. blue bird - the rosebuds
12. you broke my heart - lavendar diamond
13. thou shalt always kill - dan le sac vs. scroobius pip
14. going to a town - rufus wainwright
15. all that i can do - baby teeth
16. violets - candy bars
17. rumors - josh ritter
18. paris is burning - st. vincent
19. oh my gosh - man like me
20. bang theory - world leader pretend
21. don't give up - noisettes

Friday, December 28, 2007

year-end wrap up: boox


this is what i read in 2007. i think that i could do better and read more. thanks to my newish and borderline-ridiculous commute (an hour and 20 minutes door-to-door that requires brisk walking, a bus AND a train), i expect to read even more this year.

i put a star next to the ones i recommend. i read too many books that i am "eh" about. i always have to finish them, even when i don't like them.

the devil in the white city - erik larson*
family and other accidents - shari goldhagen
love is a mix tape - rob sheffield*
little children - tom perrotta*
another bullshit night in suck city - nick flynn
best american nonrequired reading 2006*
appetites: why women want - carolyn knapp*
back when we were grown-ups - anne tyler
a long way down - nick hornby*
the dive from clausen's pier - ann packer
possible side effects - augusten burroughs*
nirvana's in utero (33 1/3 series) - gillian g. garr
runaway - alice munro*
eat the document - dana spiotta
pretty little mistakes - heather mcelhatten*
the year of magical thinking - joan didion*
the virgin suicides - jeffrey eugenides*
best american nonrequired reading 2007*
truth and beauty - ann patchett*
america: the book - jon stewart/the daily show*
kitchen confidential - anthony bourdain*

my favorite of the year was probably love is a mix tape. i have no idea why i read that entire anne tyler book - it really sucked.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

what my mom wants for christmas

Hi Kids,

Just in case you need/want a Christmas suggestion from me, I'd like some music by Joss Stone. While in England we watched her perform twice on TV and I really liked her. Then just the other night when flipping channels I saw her performing with L Rhimes. They also had tapes of them talking. It was awful to see Joss Stone take a backseat to Rhimes. Joss has "IT" plus a superior voice. I'd also like home made "vouchers" to spend time with you for going to the movies, bike riding, and just hanging out. And there's a kitchen tool that spreads out dough very thinly make by that company that has home parties that Danny has for his pizzas that would be wonderful to have. I just can't think of the name of the company (not Tupperware). I think I already asked for a pizza stone - or 2 - which would be very convenient and take out the excess calories when I make pizzas at home.

For your dad, who has "no" ideas I came up with the following: a cell phone with a select number of minutes that we could repurchase as needed. He really won't get into using it like the you kids use yours or even as I use my own. But when he has a real need, then at least he'll have one. He also needs a new fragrance. That 360 just doesn't do it for me anymore. Yow! I can say I now hate the smell. Any ideas? He also needs to replace one of those magnetic necklaces that was purchased by Dale Moore. I'm not sure Dale is even in business anymore, so if you have a source, you could get it and I could reimburse you. I also plan to get him those shoe liners your Aunt Nancy is now selling (30) which I think he'll enjoy as men make her best customers. Last year the books on Ireland that Jenny gave us were a real hit so if coffee table books on England/The Lake District/The Cotswolds/ Wales/Scotland or on New York City can be found, those would be great, too. Did I tell you how much your dad loved New York? I got such a kick out of him saying it made him feel young to be there. I guess that means we'll get to go there more often.

Hope this is helpful. And do let me know if there are some things you would want. We have just another week to shop. I don't go shopping on Christmas Eve! Also try to come home earlier in the day on Christmas Eve.

Love,
Mom

items

we never made it to the hollyday party we were supposed to go to on saturday night - we drove a few miles in horrible snow and wind - people were only going 35 or 40 on the interstate - and we turned around and went back home. we were watching tv and a clearblue easy commercial came on, and the tagline was so fucking amazingly funny i was bawling i laughed so hard (i had also just drank half a bottle of wine). watch it here. brilliant.

pos had me go to the american girls store to get his niece a gift certificate, and some businessman douche ahead of me in line said to the cashiers, a little too loudly, "so where's the adult room with the blow-up dolls?" they all lightly chuckled to his completelyfuckingobnoxious joke, and i just stared at him with pure hate. he then paid for $240 worth of shit for the darling little girl in his life. ick. ick. ick.

yumz! quick recipes for 101 easy-to-make appetizers! since it's from the new york times, the most respected newspaper in the world (err, it is still, right?), i don't feel matronly or lame for posting this - i feel well-informed and fascinating.

popular mexican musicians keep getting killed, most likely by drug gangs. why can't someone get on this north of the border? i've got a list.

i had a brief love affair with the retardo splendor that is "lolcats" (that walrus and his bucket thing is still funny to me) but i had forgotten about them. and then i saw this, in which one replaces housecat/walrus with mangled third-world-country baby and . . . well, not totally lol, you know?

tb sent me this - it's rap and hip hop, in graphic detail. i dig the threadless shirt that visually demonstrates "mo money mo problems."

an actor from my all-time favorite movie, beyond the valley of the dolls, died in november (michael blodgett wasn't exactly a household name, so i just heard about it). god bless you, lance rocke - "golden hair, bedroom eyes, the firm young body, these are the tools which he plies his trade." if it had been z-man i would have been truly crushed. pos posted a shout-out to lance rocke on the dead pool page. speaking of dead pool, i have two weeks to have a lot of old people (or just one or two young ones) die - i'm in second place, but trailing by 68 points. i have been working on the 2008 list and it's a good one.

tori seriously is the HBIC - she kicked two bitches out of her show because they didn't appreciate it. tori fans are VERY INTO HER, so it was probably rather disconcerting for her to see two front-row-dwellers walking around and not worshiping her/cutting themselves. watch video here. also, the ear farm has given her song "yes, anastasia" the 8+ treatment (where they write about and post songs that are longer than 8 minutes). who knew that's what the song was about? i've never tried too hard to decipher tori's lyrics - they're almost always about god, sex and relationships, just described in very strange terms.

speaking of ear farm, here is an amazingly great mp3 mix: 10 songs by artists that sassy featured under their "cute band alert" feature. the ear farm dude hadn't known what sassy was and said, "If I was a girl growing up in the early '90s I'd probably be lamenting the loss of such a well put together magazine directed at young women." preach on, brother. i never tire of mentioning how much i loved that fucking magazine, and how bitterly disappointing it is to become an adult (prior tirade in this post).

pos went and cut down a tree for us this year when i was busy with some lame weekend work shit, but we got to decorate it together. maybe next year pos and i will attempt the mountain dew tree. he has few vices, but diet dew is one of them (puke). he was so proud that he found two cans of diet code red mountain dew a few weeks ago. i will blame these sodas when he dies.

here is a photo gallery of kids squirming and crying to get away from the super-creepy dude in the white beard and red velvet suit. santa is pretty traumatizing - you have to sit on his lap and tell him that you're nice and he should give you stuff? you ask him to enter your house while you're asleep? he can ALWAYS see you? get that fucker away from me.

elaborate performance art or new depths of self-obsessed narcissistic "celebrity" (term used very loosely) worship? not only can you buy vincent gallo's sperm and sex, you can also buy his childhood bedspread, as well as random junk from his basement. the charles manson painting is . . . not very good.

i am unfamiliar with livejournal communities, but this one looks promising - pages of tacky and retro shit from old catalogues.

great article and interview with nick hornby about the differences between his new book, being marketed as a "young adult" book, and his other works.

do you feel bad about downloading songs for free? do you feel like you just cheated a struggling artist, like madonna, out of her hard-earned money because you didn't pay for that "like a prayer" mp3? now you can send a thank-you note and some money, guilt-free, with this highly entertaining program: dear rockers. a sample excerpt, for axl rose:

I’m sorry, I hope you won’t invite me to “get in the ring,” but I downloaded some of your soon-to-be-finished songs from the soon-to-be-released Chinese Democracy. It made me feel good, it made me feel cheap and it made me feel guilty. So in return, I wanted to give you back the $17 (one dollar for every year you have spent polishing this gem in the studio/writing/recording/ranting). We all know that this is going to be the greatest album of all time. (Sorry, Kid Rock).

karl rove must really fucking hate hilary, because he wrote a memo to obama on how to beat her. he's right. for the first time. no hates for hill - i just don't think she can win, and i am SO OVER the republitards and the utter shambles that our country is in.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

lovely day

life is good. we finally got internet access at the house - we were indecisive and lame about it for almost two months (don't want to get a phone landline, don't want to pay shitty installation fee for direct tv's version of wireless, etc) and finally got a verizon broadband thing that i plug into a usb port and am magically connected. so now i think i'll be able to post a lot more often. i had to pay some bills online last weekend so we went to the burger king because it has free wifi. you know shit is bad when the burger king has internet access and you don't. so i am pleased as punch that it's fixed.

had an interesting morning: hung over from yesterday's work holiday party (nice lunch and open bar at the james hotel - i won a fuzzy hotel robe in the raffle - and then on to rossi's, an old man/iron worker bar downtown where we hovered around a bar stool with a piece of shelving that the bartender gave us balanced on top to play left-center-right, a dice game involving chips and binge drinking), we went and saw shellac at the hideout (site of pos' and my legendarily great first date). it was a noon show - they had free donuts and i drank mugs of coffee, and then listened to loud noise rock that was actually really good. steve albini is a good front man - charismatic and funny, but also aggressive. impressive for a 45-year-old music legend who looks like i could probably beat up. they took questions between songs and sat on the stage and sold shirts afterwards - normal-seeming guys who are generous to their fans.

i have an inbox choked with shit to post, since i haven't properly blogged in weeks. here's some good stuff . . .

the new york post proves once again that it is the klassiest rag on the planet. love those domestic violence jokes. speaking of which, i really love this unaired canadian psa against domestic violence. domestic violence isn't funny, obviously, but a psa where someone says "you fucking bitch" is a little bit funny. maybe i just think that things that make me uncomfortable are funny. that's a question for a mind wizard (therapist). anyway, it's nsfw. thanks to rm for the ike headline. and i really love feministing, the blog that the psa is off of - they are collecting donations for website upgrades. even though they met their goal, i slid some cash their way and you should think about supporting blogs that you read/appreciate. like this one. i kid.

speaking of nsfw, here are photos of an art exhibit dedicated entirely to the golden girls (and those with an elderly lady fetish).

i just finished reading miranda july's short story collection, no one belongs here more than you. check out the story "majesty" - she rivals joyce carol oates in straight-forward creepiness. the book's site is a series of notes she wrote on her kitchen appliances. i really like her "learning to love you more" project. she doesn't make me want to poop back and forth forever or anything, but she is really interesting.

oops - gotta go to a holiday party. more soon. for reals this time - i gots wired!

Friday, December 07, 2007

happy birfday pos

my bf is 37 today. bitch is old.

sorry that i am a crabass who hates her job and bitches about it probably too much (and i grind my teeth at night cuz i'm thinking about how much i hate my job, which wakes you up, and that is so gross, but you just touch my face and i stop and you are still, inexplicably, attracted to me).

i loves you!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

"bobbing like some pigeons lookin for a crumb"

i haven't posted because i don't have internet at home (we really need to get on that) and cuz work is supa bizzy.

wow, i just annoyed myself with my mizzpellins.

bettah lame than never.

nostalgia: when i was in dc i hung out at toledo lounge (second in my heart, back in the day, only to the pharmacy bar - read about both here) and got to be friendly with a server named chris. he even took me to popeye's for lunch once (long story). his band the nighties would play small venues in town - like velvet lounge, and i saw them sweating their asses off on the little stage at the back of dccd when it was still open - and i thought they were rad. kate from the glorious hum posted about john bustine and i remembered that chris had played with him as john bustine and the woolfs, and so i went a-googling and found these nighties mp3s on the wapo's site (i love you, wapo, i really, really do). i moved to chicago and chris moved to new york and i hope he still plays music, cuz he's a cool guy and i liked his band. i used to listen to "the mouse" cranked up in my little office at corps network and sing along - "when the cat catches the mouse he says whoo-ooh-ohh-ooooo."

i did this and you might want to, too - send yourself (or someone else) an email to be delivered whenever you want - like, ten years from now. dear future me, did you ever allow pos to cut the little pebble embedded into your palm out with his pocket knife? cuz he really wants to.

beth ditto is the current bust cover girl, and here is an interview with spin. i like her. she really doesn't give a shit about what people think.

here's an article about marc jacobs, patron saint of handbags that i adore and covet, and martyr of the fashion industry. now that he's older and hotter and has a sketchy young bf, people be hatin on him. don't you fuss, marc, and could you maybe do a kelly green leather handled zippered bag with silver hardware? thanxxx.

ea sent this to me - a 20-year-old wisconsin woman wins Best Mommy 07. she sounds really smart and responsible. i recently read something that made me smile - someone was discussing the notion that parents want to be kool and liked, and the person said "why would your kid want a 40-year-old friend?"

update on fb's professor who brutally beat his wife to death with a chin-up bar while she wrapped christmas presents: he now admits that he did it. surprise. what a shitty xmas.

SIGH. another fucking terrible tattoo found here. why? WHY?!?!?!?

rm sent me the above link, as well as this one, to the best marketing and branding scheme i have laid eyes on. the jacket's lining is THAT soft.

and, finally, big personal-life news: tb and js got engaged! my big brother is gettin hitched. they're planning a may wedding in chicago. i'm very happy for both of them.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

ch-ch-ch-changes

i'm not gonna change the template to the blog (i used to use the white background/light circles design that blogger offers and when i changed it to what it is now, all of my photos in old posts got jacked up - check this out for an example) so when i get bored i switch out the links. i added a bunch and took out some. the ones i removed are either because they are never updated or because i don't ever visit them anymore.

let me know if there are any that you miss or if you have recommendations for new links. i try to stick to blogs only, or corporate websites (mcsweeney's, the av club) that try to keep it bloggy-style.

here is a memorial service for the links i removed. i feel badly that i am removing my own brother's blog, but whatevs, he hasn't updated it in a year.

the syracusan

pressure release

plant camp

not fooling anybody

that's my girl, asshole

looper

free indie mp3s

mocking music

the test pilot

the underrated blog

what would jesus blog?

Monday, November 12, 2007

the post in which i finally get around to telling you why my blog is named as such

my friends and i all try to make each other's 30th birthdays special. i got a giant vagina cake; ecf got a surprise recreation of his bar mitzvah (1990 fashion and music, plus his mom located the unused napkins that she had saved, as well as the comic book decor that ecf himself had designed). it would have been jenny chang's 30th this weekend; a bunch of her girlyfriends from childhood, college, and dc all converged in chicago for shopping, millennium park, the art institute, the hancock building, dinner and drinks on saturday. jl stayed with me; i didn't even know her (or sp) when i lived in dc; i met them at jenny's bachelorette party and then saw them again at jenny's wedding. we went for drinks when i was in dc this spring; jl and i laughed that this weekend was seriously the fourth time we've ever hung out, and she feels like the kind of friend that i have had and have relied on for years and years. i am so thankful that we were able to honor jenny's memory this weekend, and that she brought so many people together, because she had an excellent taste in friends. happy 30th, jenny! i miss you.

jl took that photo out of the window on the 96th floor of the hancock building saturday evening.

anyways - here's the snips n clips i have collected. you know, i always meant to explain why i call this blog scissors happy. firstly, i love the word scissors, and i love the actual physical design of a pair of scissors. i even found a great necklace at the renegade craft fair of a tiny little pair of silver scissors that probably makes me look semi-mental at work, but whatevs, it's cute. but that's not really why. i have always been "scissors happy," meaning i always cut tons of shit out of magazines and newspapers, and tear stuff out of, like, pamphlets and newsletters and other reading materials. i made two (totally embarrassing now) zines in high school and wanted to be a journalist (music and culture, not of new york times quality - more like details or sassy or spin), and i have always been a big magazine person. i have binders full of articles, art, band interviews, clippings, postcards, and stupid shit that i have saved over the years because i like reading them and because they are evidence of what has influenced me and are reminders for things that i should learn more about. so the advent of the internet was sort of a dream come true for me, because i don't have to keep making those heavy-ass binders stuffed with old pages and papers (well . . . i still do, but it's way less now than it used to be), and i can share all of this somewhat useless but totally entertaining and interesting shit with everyone. i'm like the grandma who can't wait to give you a stack of yellowing newspaper articles she cut out of the paper for you. annoying but endearing.

mildly amusing radar experiment: wear super-obnoxious/offensive t-shirts in public and see what people say. i'm thinking that reactions in new york vary greatly from those that would be gathered in, say, dubuque, iowa.

this article basically reads like an onion article, including quotes from the american ferret association. hey, how fucking excited was the AFA's pr person to acutally be called about something other than the only questions i can fathom that one would ask them, such as "why are ferrets so gross?"

so i posted the random cbs station's openly gay celebrity slideshows, and found a link to this article ($1,000 bagel) on the same website. i think i love you, random cbs station's website. this slideshow is entertaining - especially when all they have to say about braveheart's blooper is, simply, "mel gibson" (slide 19). so is "what a way to go" (very classy name - it's a collection of strange deaths. that's seriously how tennessee williams died?) and a good dead pool tool, the 2007 celebrity death slideshow. wow, wcbstv.com - you're kinda tacky and totally distracting. i wanna work for you.

IAFYAF has a link to a slideshow that demonstrates that winona ryder is, basically, a music slut (not this kind - this kind), and made a mix tape for you to download, too.

the asshat pants man gets fired - read about it here.

stole this off of mj's blog - rawhawhawhawhw.

when was the last time you read a positive article about a catholic priest? i am (lapsed) catholic and all of my leaders are embarrassing me. this one stalks conan o'brien - his letters (a few excerpts in article) are retarded. he signs them "padre" and writes them on parish stationary.

and, finally, while this isn't like my ultimate nightmare, my mom doesn't know about the blog (and dad doesn't know how to turn on mom's computer), and i totes related to the (funny) anguish of this onion article.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

"basically, i wish that you loved me / i wish that you needed me / i wish that you knew when i said two sugars, i meant three"

saw tori amos last night. i was really surprised that there were so many dudes there - the crowd was half men, half women, i would guess. there were also a fair number of superfans, as well as severely annoying "if i just shove my way to the front, i win" bitches and a few people standing very obviously by themselves. tears for them. tori has become more of a performance artist than your typical singer-songwriter-with-a-piano. for starters, she is a tiny little thing, all lean and angular and kinda cyborgy, and she attacks her piano in more of a squatting lunge than actually sitting on a bench. and she does this in heels, for hours a day. no wonder she looked so muscular. she performed using two of her "personalities" or whatever she's doing with her american girl posse phase - she came out in a black wig and very high-fashion sequined tank dress with metallic leggings and heels, and she was aggressive and sexual, humping the floor, touching herself, and being snarly in general. she opened with "cruel" (all of her old songs were redone in ways that made them more rock, for the most part) and when that was done pos turned to me and said "HBIC." it was funny, and true. halfway through the show she changed outfits and personas, wearing a retarded metallic leopard-print jumpsuit romper and a red wig, and she finally said hi to the crowd and was more chipper in general. it was a good show - two hours, lots of old reworked songs and some of the better songs off of the new album. it was a bit too overdramatic for me when she did "me and a gun" (a sad song about being raped from her first album that is usually a capella); she sort of made it into an angry stomper while fondling a butcher knife and then grabbing a prop gun and pointing it at the audience. sometimes a little restraint helps make the point.

a lot of the songs sounded the same - that was pos' one complaint, and i agreed. maybe that's why a girl over in the next section vomited and retched really loudly during the usually very pretty old tori standard "winter."


okay, so on to something that most people will actually care about . . .

nr sent me what she refers to as her new favorite blog (traitor): it's a collection of photos from abandoned chi-chis. random. divine.

i neglected to tell people that it's nsfw when i sent out this collection of paintings on nude bodies that kk had sent me. i was still too speechless to properly address the semi-porniness of it - they're really creepy. so consider yourself warned.

i hope that this guy is joking in the way that i hope that ann coulter is an elaborate performance artist - watch video here.

do yourself a favor and download all of the kate nash songs that you can find. she's like a non-annoying lily allen - young british girl with a guitar singing about souring relationships and unrequited love. i adore the songs "the nicest thing," "merry happy," and "foundations." itunes doesn't have her complete album (made of bricks) so go to hype machine and see what you can find.

Friday, November 02, 2007

how the fuck is it only 4 pm? i've been sitting at this desk for at least 27 hours.

tomorrow's onion rip-off-a-page-every-day desk calendar headline: "special olympics investigated for performance-enhancing hugs."

here is a great and funny article about how the clothes make the man that i read in the week (best news magazine evah) and was reminded of it cuz mj posted it. it's by that ex-orthodox jewish guy who wrote the new memoir foreskin's lament that sounds super funny and good.

horses may only be disabled unicorns (no horn, lack of magic) but this was one of the weirdest/funniest televised sporting events of all time.

you know how you'll sometimes sing along with a song that you dont know the lyrics for, so you just sort of fill in the spaces with gibberish in the right tone? meet amy winehouse, who has to do that to songs that she actually wrote.

you can go to this website to enter your political concerns and it tells you what presidential candidates most match your ideals. apparently former senator mike gravel (D-AK) shares a 90% similarity with my beliefs. interesting - considering i know nothing about this dude. best of luck, man - i am 90 percent behind you. although, isn't he kinda . . . too elderly? i mean, he's six years older than mccain, and bitch is OLD.

ea forwarded this post that features pages from a 1977 jc penney catalogue, and it's pure comic gold (and avocado, and burnt orange). i had TOTALLY FORGOTTEN about my dad's late-70s swim trunks that came with a matching button-down shirt until i saw a similar ensemble here.

nick hornby has a new book coming out. even though it's "teen lit" i'll still read it. good interview here.

very random: there is something really lame about some cbs channel's website putting together two slideshows of openly gay celebrities (it has a freak-show, looking-at-animals-at-the-zoo element to it) but then again, this wouldn't have been half as populated with confirmed gay people 10 years ago, so at least it shows progress. all i know is that i am surprised to learn that lesley gore is gay. lezlie gore.

there were some people missing from that slideshow, including at least one of these guys, but maybe they just kept the emphasis on "celebrities" and not "sad, delusional hanger-ons."

speaking of delusions, saw lars and the real girl this week (i am kinda obsessed with real doll owners) and it was pretty good - the story line involving all of the townsfolk being really understanding and pretending that his sex doll was a real girl was totally not believable, but ryan gosling was great and i just found his delusion that she was real to be really sad. i don't know if many real doll owners believe that their doll speaks to them and is a real person, but my favorite, davecat, loves fucking his. and being non-sexually intimate as well, of course. here he is in an excerpt from the hour-long bbc documentary (it's a must-see) and - ta da! - i found his blog.

and, finally - elderly prostitutes.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

my retarded goth/druid roommate sophomore year got really pious about how important and special halloween is. we, surprisingly, don't talk anymore.

some wendy's employees (the girls in red yarn braid wigs and weird holly hobby clothes) passed out free breakfast burritos in front of the wrigley building this morning. it was egg and sausage wrapped in a tortilla. i ate it at my desk about 10 minutes after they handed it to me. it was . . . salty. that's about it, salty. i also got a coupon for a free breakfast combo at wendy's before the end of the year. i am a big supporter of good breakfast. i try to eat cereal or yogurt in the morning before work, but pos and i almost always have a good brunch on the weekends. i don't like a lot of fast food breakfasts because most of them are like eating a salt lick, and the worst meal i think i have ever had was at the atlanta airport at like 5 am at this nasty burger place called krystal's - my flight from sarasota to atlanta the night before had been fine, but then my second leg to chicago was delayed and canceled for no particular reason. i was sent to a dumpy motel and given a $5 meal voucher (hey, THANKS, five bucks goes far) and by the time i got myplate of krystal's i was delirious from bad travel, little sleep and no food. my breakfast was gluey plain grits, a cold biscuit, some "eggs," and a patty of meat that, upon placing into my mouth, i immediately thought "this is what salted horse tastes like" and spit it out.

it's okay if my breakfast was kinda gross this morning. i have meatloaf sammiches for lunch (mmmm - cold meatloaf on white bread with butter) cuz i made two meatloaves the other night in my newfound domesticity, and candy abounds all over the office. btw, the word "loaf" is repulsive.

the nyt talks to fancy chefs (including the guy from moto) and chocolatiers about halloween candy and what they'll be passing out.

excellent commentary on radiohead (and madonna) from the guy in mogwai found here.

i bet we'll have a ton of trick-or-treaters tonight. i don't think i've ever had real trick-or-treaters since i've lived on my own - most parents don't want their kids entering apartment buildings or knocking on the dilapidated doors of shared houses. a lot of houses and yards in the neighborhood take decorating for holidays very seriously - huge blow-up pumpkins and tons of cottony spider webs and lawn ornaments and skeletons and ghosts. it looks strange to see all of this crap around their virgin mary statues in their front yards. one house has a stone goose statue on the front porch and it gets an outfit change for holidays (a cape and a hat of varying holiday prints). i don't ever want to be like any of those people. a carved pumpkin, maybe. that's about where i draw the line.

this is so sad and deranged - and further proof that very little good ever comes out of craigslist.

so i didn't go as carol to jmk's halloween party - i spent all saturday unpacking and doing laundry and i didn't have the time or gumption to gather elderly lady accoutrements and to make myself look old and crazy. i borrowed pos' michael meyers mask and a mechanical jumpsuit he had at an old job. i looked pretty creepy. they all had me run downstairs and cross the street, staring up at them in the window, but the photos didn't turn out. it was rad when an old woman drove by and i was just standing there, in my mask, staring. here is a photo of me on the front porch. i met lots of people at the party - an amy winehouse, a hooters waitress, a slutty girl scout, a slutty sailor, a slutty punk rock girl, a slutty bumble bee . . . notice a pattern? there was also a nun, and the guys were all fully dressed - darth vader, walter from the big lebowski, the dude from the big lebowski, a stereotypical mexican (poncho, sombrero, cap gun). it was fun. i like halloween parties because everyone talks to each other.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

i am happy with the resurgence of the unicorn as a cultural reference.


i neglected to mention that tc sent me the betty white motivational poster that i posted last time. she also sent me this great page of similar photos.

i never dug doogie howser and that how i met your mother show looks like tripe, but neil patrick harris is suddenly growing on me - for this promo for the new harold and kumar and for his halloween costume. and he's gay. call me, nph - we could be good friends.

pos and i watched the live forever britpop documentary (at the rec of i am fuel, you are friends, paired with an excellent britpop mp3 compilation) and it was kind of a mess with no real story arc or point, other than to demonstrate the unintentional hilariousness that is noel and liam gallagher (i love them) and to show that jarvis cocker has the grossest, longest, tapered-candle-lookin fingers ever - they look they belong on nosferatu. oh, and he is very unwashed lately. i do love this is hardcore, though he discussed how that was the worst period of his life - it is a fantastic britpop album, through and through.

jmk sent me this npr link to a spoon show in dc, with opener the ponys. when we went to see spoon in chicago, we dawdled at the sushi restaurant beforehand so that we wouldn't have to see the ponys. i am so fucking sick of them - they open for everyone all the time in chicago, they played lolla, and i even ran into their set at sxsw in austin. ugggh. they suck.

ecf sent this to me, noting that when he first saw the headline he was pretty sure it was about me. i'm not going to get into it, but i have been known to not let things go and to use the internet for nefarious purposes - when warranted, of course. because i do not like having money stolen from me, and i will let that person know. and YES i am still pissed about getting ripped off on ebay, okay? i am entitled to be a little bit crazy about it. ooops - scaring boyfriend, and i just moved in. i best gets to chillin.

my friend cl is in the new york times this week! with a photo, too, of her measuring a huge tree, and all because she's one of those people who actually do shit about the environment, not wait for others to take care of it (like me). can you grab me one of those spotted owls, cl? they're cute. i want one.

and, finally, i like it when rich assholes go to jail: the douche who spent millions having 50 cent, aerosmith, tom petty, the eagles, and kenny g play at his daughter's bat mitzvah (i wonder which ones his 12-year-old daughter was a fan of) was buuuuusted for basically being a war profiteer. fucker.

Friday, October 26, 2007

i'm gonna eat spanish tapas for dinner and i can't wait. i'm also finding it difficult to come up with a decent header for this post.

saw queens of the stone age last night at the riv. the opening band, the black angels, sucked so bad that i eventually yelled this at them when they finally got off the stage (i was a little boozed up and half the crowd was booing). i'm not the biggest qotsa fan but it was fun. the crowd was 90 percent dudes and it has been a long time since i have seen a mosh pit and body surfing. pos really wanted to go, and since i am taking him to see tori amos in a few weeks, i figured that it was the least i could do. after we left and were walking to the car, we decided to duck into a pizza place and get a slice just so that we could use the bathroom. when i was waiting for him a nice and seemingly normal guy who had been at the show started talking to me and it made me really happy to know that, despite my advancing age and domestic-partnered status, i can still get hit on.

speaking of shitty opening bands, that horrible shrieker kristeen young was fired from morrissey's tour. she really did blow. we have the same name (i'm a k, too, SO MUCH BETTER than christine or, as my parents originally named me until my grandmother bitched about it for six months and my mom finally had it legally changed, cristine - and thank god, cuz that's hideous) except kristeen spells it retarded. there have been so many bad openers that i've seen, but sometimes you hear a really great band for the first time. like when i saw the white stripes open for sleater-kinney in 2000 or early 2001 - THAT was a good find.

skanks millions to death from below for these links: i dont understand how this works but it freaks my shit out because i can make her switch. weird! and this is a totally bizarre newscast - first of all, it's disgusting. secondly, their reporting is unprofessional (did she seriously just say "leave a log"?). and thirdly, people actually live in eastern idaho?

speaking of bizarro newscasts, jmk sent me this video of wayne coyne doing the weather on an oklahoma city morning show. i love his suit and undone bowtie, which i think he wears every day. kinda homeless looking but very hott!

jmk also sent me these: this news article describes how to punish someone you catch mid-robbery in your home, and this article is almost too painfully retarded to read. it will fit in nicely as a topic of conversation at jmk's halloween party this weekend, as most people are going as characters from the big lebowski. i'm most likely going to go as carol, so i need to figure out how to do my hair in a crooked beehive and locate some fake roaches to put into it.

have a good weekend, peeps. i hope my middle finger feels better soon. i think i jammed it when i was moving shit around this week and i need it to feel non-arthritis-y so that i can use it for uses both proper (typing, holding things, typical finger usage) and improper (non-verbally demonstrate my displeasure).

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

new alarm clock works shockingly well.


i am moved. i have a new home. the dudes from USA movers came to my apartment at 8:30 on saturday morning and they left pos' house before 11. js thinks that they're on meth, they bust ass so quickly, but they are seriously the best (and cheapest) movers in chicago. i took the last two days off from work to unpack and do laundry and go to target (we seriously spent over $400 there. other than my new alarm clock and a $30 shower curtain, nothing else cost over $20. WTF?!?!?!?!?) and to cook dinner together (i hope this little tradition lasts).

i just looked up my new alarm clock on the target website and FUCK. almost all of the reviews are lousy . . . mostly because it fucking shocks its owners. maybe . . . since those reviews are over a year old, they've fixed the problem . . . sigh. so now its sole purpose is to get me out of bed AND it scares me? least favorite item in house now. (this is why i should read product reviews BEFORE i purchase something).

i "hate" it when people use "extra" punctuation, which actually "changes" what they mean, including apostrophes ( like "get your nail's done") and "quotation" "marks." jmk sent me the link to the "blog" of "unnecessary" quotation marks, and they have a great list of "other snarks" as links, such as crummy church signs and literally, a weblog. i hate that too. i know a couple and i really like them but it literally drives me insane to listen to them tell a story, as they literally say the word literally in literally every sentence. for reals. lits.

remember all the hubub about the chicago marathon? the onion did the best job reporting on what really went down. that shit makes me laugh and laugh. i fucking love the onion.

jmk sends me stuff all day at work (he sent me the above onion article). i finally convinced one of the less-retarded IT guys to download itunes onto my computer for me (it got lost when i had to get a new harddrive and i have suffered with the horribly-1998 windows media player) so now i can listen to jmk's music, as well as get my goatlord fix. anyway, he sent me this and he claims that it scares him. freud would have a lot to say about it (and he'd probably agree).

the rumors are true: james blunt really will fuck anything that moves. here he is pining away for a triangle on sesame street. he has a creepy weasle face. i like it when tully gets down. and i guess anderson cooper will be on soon, too. i used to have a little crush on him. it's the hair, okay?

the "preppy murderer" (TOTAL PRICK - read his sick story on wikipedia) got busted for selling coke, along with his girlfriend, who fell in love with him when he was on trial for murdering a girl in central park whom he had just picked up in a bar (his defense: it was rough sex that got out of hand). this reminds me - while i was unpacking i had e! on for background noise, and they had this "investigative reporting" (exploitation journalism) show on crime groupies - women who go after serial killers and convicted felons. they did a segment on danielle steele, who knows a thing or two about loving crazies, addicts and cons (sooo romantic). also, this reminds me of the errol morris first person dvd that pos and i watched - he interviews a bunch of randoms simply because they're interesting. one episode, "the killer inside me," is about a woman who dated a serial killer when they were teens, wrote a book about it, attracted the attention of the gainesville killer, and then they fell in love. when the judge asked him if he had anything to say during his trial, he started singing to her and she stood there beaming. she's totally fucked up. she wrote a song and made a video that's included in the errol morris show; she performs it in white face makeup with tiger stripes and it's about death row. or something. if you're into the bizarre, serial killer groupies is a good excursion.

these people (russian?) are my nominees for creepiest pet owners with a website. for starters, that's a goddamn puma, and secondly, the bathtub scene is porny, and thirdly, that poor chicken . . .

run!

these british designers want to help properly clothe you and find the most flattering fit - even if you are shaped like a brick or have a "hateful" (hahah) figure like "the bell." i am having a hard time deciding which shape best describes me and which shape (if any) i would prefer. one thing's for sure: gray tank tops with gray workout capris is no one's good look.

and one last thing from jmk: the ending of seven, filmed with stuffed animals.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

where troubles melt like lemondrops, away above the chimney tops































just wanted to give a shout-out to recent additions to the in rainbows cover art made by fans.

check out the link here.

i quite enjoy this project and hope that this becomes a trend.

on a similar rainbow note, i love the cover of the new cat power album.

"and i'm not sorry/it's human nature" - madge


packing blowz.

just wanted to take some time out of putting random items like a unicorn cake pan and a cd book of burned discs into the same box. i spent some time this week updating my address, being all proactive so i don't miss mail and such, very adult of me. it's amazing how many fucking people you have to tell - not just the post office but the dmv, your bank, all of your credit cards, your insurance company, your 401k people, the student loan people, the gas company, the electric company, the cell phone company, ticketbastard, and all of the magazines you subscribe to. i canceled my renters insurance. i closed a credit card that i hadn't used in a while. people only give a shit about your new address when you owe them money.

anyway, i read this in radar and wanted to share . . .

SAME AS IT EVER WAS
From anthropologist Donald Brown's list of more than 300 behaviors and social characteristics that are universal across all human cultures:
thumb sucking
tickling
language employed to manipulate others
preference for copulation conducted in private
gossip
disapproval of stinginess
nepotism
husbands older than wives
oedipus complex
belief in religion/the supernatural
socialization that includes toilet training
licking wounds
male domination of the political realm
baby talk.

you can read the whole interesting list here. i am pleased to learn that there are not (have never been?) cultures in which it is totally fine to just shit yourself and carry on with your day.

Friday, October 12, 2007

obligatory IN RAINBOWS post - i am a blogger who likes music, after all.

when i told summer to go away, i meant to retreat slowly, not ditch me hardcore. it dropped like 30 degrees overnight and now i am all chilly and unprepared. i love bitching about the weather, by the way.

going to see spoon tonight, and i got tickets this morning to see tori amos in early november at the vic (which is general-admission and only fits about 1,000 people, including balcony). i saw her twice in high school: once in july of 1994 at the barrymore in madison that was great, and then a shitty one in october of the same year at the madison civic center. the show was cut real short, as she stopped playing about a half-hour after coming on stage, clutching her chest and walking off, and some dude came out and apologized and said that she wasn't feeling well and that we'd "have to do it again some other time," but there were never any refunds or rescheduled dates with these tickets honored. when we left, confused and disappointed, we (i went with a friend whose name was, seriously, aura) saw her loaded into an ambulance out back. this was very pre-internet, so we never found out what that was all about - i think i read somewhere that her management team cited food poisoning, but someone told me she did too much coke.
tori's best albums (boys for pele and from the choirgirl hotel) came out when i was in college, and i still listen to them, but i stopped caring for a long time. i'm pretty sure i went and saw her in college because i have a "raspberry swirl girl" necklace (which i obviously don't wear anymore), but i've blanked out on when and whre that was. i got the new album this summer and while i haven't bothered to look into her five personalities (i guess they all blog or something) and feed into the tori fanaticism, the album is okay and it ought to be a cool show.

wow, nice tangent. i guess i still am a superfan! or just pissed that my teenage high schooler self paid a lot of money to see a musician she loved and was treated to a shitty show and no refund. and never got any good gossip about what happened, which probably bothers me most of all.
on to the linx:

yay! michael k (my favorite blogger) interviewed in gridskipper here about why new york rulz.

the wapo reviews the new radiohead - they like it fine, but have a lot more to say about how it's being distributed (free, or pay what you want, or be a superfan and spend $80 for a deluxe cd/vinyl/book extravaganza). pjl ordered the boxset and burned me a copy of the 10 tracks and while i will always favor bends and ok computer era (and i do really like kid a and amnesiac, though it took me a few listens to get into them), hail to the thief and thom's solo album were dense and boring, and i was worried that this would continue the trend. it's not amazing, but i like it. you can buy/not buy it here.

this is a great project - people submitted what they thought the cover art for in rainbows should be and some of them are total radness.

two mysterious deaths (one a drag queen, one a twink drifter) in four days at a disabled gay man's apartment who wanted company and probably paid for theirs - sounds like a bad episode of law and order. click here.

i think that real dolls are gonna be all the rage (as a topic, at least) when lars and the real girl comes out, and as more and more articles and documentaries come out. i'm fascinated/totally creeped out by them. they now have a MALE real doll, for the lonely gay men and straight ladies out there who are too awkward to even be able to convince a real person to sex them up (or maybe they just prefer the latex silent version). why did they have to make the male "real doll" look like such a fratastic douche? also, i think he is named after charlie sheen, who, i learned this week, hacked up his real doll and threw it in a dumpster - pure class, and the picture of sanity, that one. click here for a very nsfw (BUT ITS NOT EVEN REAL, BOSS!) view of rubber charlie.

oh, and and for your average lonely social reject into japanese animation, or "anime," as the kidz call it, there is - anna mae! get it? the huge eyes and tits scares me. there is nothing "real" about that one. the whole thing is too creepy. which is worse, gross exaggerations of the female body or eerily realistic ones? shudder, either way.

cuteness overload: tiny baby animals on fingers just a click away.

slate has a new, interesting slide show: the history of the vibrator! here's a sample: "Vibrators came back into the mainstream in the 1990s, thanks not to radical feminists but to the Reagan administration. With the public health threat of AIDS looming, Surgeon General C. Everett Koop mailed out a list of safe-sex options to every household in the land in the late 1980s. Vibrators were on it." it's, uh, nsfw.

new horrible tattoo, courtesy of death from above - click here.

we almost lost a musical genius last week. and no, it wasn't mandy moore (my OTHER equally embarrassing guilty pleasure).

okay. have a good weekend.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

i'm done with summer. please end now.

so the chicago marathon was this weekend and it was basically a death match clusterfuck (even the ny times wrote about it here). firstly, i don't understand why the fuck it's in the 80s in OCTOBER. global warming clearly exists. secondly, the marathon was totally poorly managed and fucked up. tc and sb ran it - here is part of an email she sent the next day:

Despite the statements the race director has made in the news, I can assure you that there was not enough water/gatorade along the course. Most of the official race aid stations I approached either didn't have gatorade or didn't have anything at all. The runners around me and I resorted to running off the course to find water fountains, drinking out of the nasty ass reflecting pools/fountains in front of residential high rises and running into convenience stores to buy liquids.

gross. also, she didn't even get to finish - they called it off when she was on mile 16. what a pisser.

postsecret brings people together, sometimes in creepy ways that i wont be participating in, but hey, that's cool for you if it makes you happy; i'm glad that SOMETHING does. sometimes i wanna slash my throat after reading the latest collection.

reality tv is unethical and lame: When the sister of a woman who appeared on ABC's "Extreme Makeover" committed suicide in 2004, the contestant sued the network for wrongful death and other charges. The contestant, who was competing to win free plastic surgery but lost, claimed that her sister had felt so guilty about mocking her appearance on the program that she killed herself. ABC settled the case for an undisclosed amount last year.

what's not to like? - bunnies, playdoh, and my favorite stones song. watch here.

super funny post from death from above here.

i'm not sure if there will ever be peace in the middle east, but at least the oasis vs blur feud is officially over.

is bob barker as big of a bastard as everyone says? he's like everyone's favorite rich uncle, who gives you crates of dish soap and avocado-hued dishwashers for your birthday, and you know that he's a dirty old man with wandering hands, but he cares so much about neutering, so you forgive him for it. well, another employee is suing and describes it as "an atmosphere of terror on the show." come to think of it, bob does look like the undead, so . . .

the best iphone review published this fall via mcsweeney's. thanks to ea for the link.

i looooooove it when local news anchors fuck up. i spent a lot of time watching various links online - some fellow nerds have even compiled lengthy best-ofs. this one is short and super funny, i'm gonna assume that this guy was demoted to covering church carnivals. people sent me some after i shared the ones above - zp sent me this weather man (screamy freakout) and this slip-up, which is the only proof that someone at fox news has insight (they predicted that it would be on youtube). tb sent me this excruciating sports reporter's horrible report - the four minutes feels more like 20.

so, yeah, back to packing up my apartment. i need more boxes.

Friday, October 05, 2007

parking lot art


this is one of my favorite works of art in chicago: a huge blown-up photograph printed onto a tarp hanging on the side of a columbia college building in the south loop. i get to see it from the orange line when i ride north in the mornings. i took a photo of it lollapalooza weekend when we walked past the lot.

click to enlarge - the small size on the blog doesn't do it justice.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

new barfroom!

the bathroom has been redone, just in time for pos' sister to come visit (she lives in ireland with her husband and three kids, and she and the youngest are arriving tomorrow) and for me to move in (october 20 and i need to start packing). behold the difference that new tile, a new window, etc can make.

no more tub floor appliques! no more mysterious hole patched up with plastic and duct tape! i love new construction smell.

and i love pos. he's so cute and sweet and he set his phone so that it plays matthew sweet's "girlfriend" when i call him.

unicorn!




excellent before and afters. we had to return the curved shower curtain because it stuck out too far.

i had the kooky "three's company" theme song in my head for the first three days i was in town.


i hear that san diego is a really nice city. i wouldn't know - i pretty much worked the entire time i was there, attending meetings and receptions and dinners and even a work-related 5k. the best times i had were: going to star club with jmk, which purports itself to be one of the top-20 dives in the country (it was gross and very well-lit, not a good combo, but fun and cheap); going to some really swank mod bar in the barrio with some clients and not being able to get a cab to come out and pick us up for well over an hour; going out for mexican and beers with coworkers, which included jmk and five girls, and a table of cute brits sent him a beer to cheers him and tell him that they don't know how he does it, but he's the man. it was cute - we were even sitting around the table in a way that made jmk the center of attention, like we were his harem.

i watched vh1 while getting ready in the morning and that is apprently the only time of day when they play videos, and i saw all sorts of lame shit but i also caught the new silverchair song, "straight lines," and i swear to god that i cannot get it out of my head. i don't even know if it's any good - it has hooked itself into my brain and will not let go. download here and be warned that it might follow you around, too. alls i know about silverchair is that they were famous at like 15, the lead singer was manorexic, and he married natalie "torn" imbruglia. and i have never liked them. until this song.

stereogum released a ten-year anny collection of ok computer covers (that was 10 years ago? wow), and has now done the same with REM's automatic for the people (at the 15 year mark, which makes me feel even more old now). i was so excited for this album to come out - i got really into REM when i was 14 - all of my birthday presents that year from my friends were the back-catalogue cds and they all came in longboxes (remember those?). i had my dad go to musicland (the same one that i would later toil in for a quarter over minimum wage) on the day that automatic came out because i had to babysit, and we all know how very important it is to get an album the day it comes out. i fucking worshipped michael stipe - i thought he was hott and sensitive and brilliant and i stopped eating meat and it was like the best moment of my life when i found out that my mom had to go to athens, ga, for work, and that she was going to bring me along. anyway, go enjoy the covers. not as good as the originals, of course.

stole this from goldenfiddle - it is "what happens when you take a good idea and a retarded idea and mash them together" - lolsecretz!

also from goldenfiddle - a page featuring all of the directorial and commercial work of david "seven, zodiac, fight club" fincher. i can't watch these at work cuz i am blocked from downloading quicktime (as well as itunes, which is why i suffer constantly. i am forced to use the shitastic windows media player and i hates it).

i rarely trust companies' assertions that they give back to the community (walmart can suck it), or that they want to protect their consumers (like, this page on the rj reynolds website is clearly only there to cover their asses), and it doesn't impress me that you can now get apple slices at mcdonalds when the menu looks like this, but this dove commercial is really good, and i heard the ex ceo of mcdonald's speak in san diego, and he made me want to build a ronald mcdonald house for sick kids and their families with my own money.

radar interviews siouxsie sioux. she has very interesting plans for michael vick if he ever runs into her. she wrote one of my personal anthems (though it is, like "christine sixteen," spelled wrong) - "christine, the strawberry girl."

and now: a stuffed uterus. but safe for work. really.

for people who hate to work, and want to fly low-tech computer animated helicopters, click here.

not sure how this will be, but am curious to hear the reviews: new strange film where they splice interview audio with kurt cobain so that he narrates a documentary about his life. trailer found here.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

headline.


you can go ahead and blame my job for my silence. oh, and i'm going to san diego for like a week for work, so i might be silent for yet another long stretch. OR i might be so bored in meetings that i sneak in some blogtime. we'll see how it goes.

jmk sent me this clip of old dudes mocking indie rock. funny.

sb sent this to me and told me to thank pos for saving me from my otherwise-inevitable future: as the woman that lives in this apartment. my favorite part is when she throws cat chow on the floor like she's scattering corn for chickens on a farm - and the cats go apeshit.

interesting article. great headline. from jmk.

my friend daniel is a man of many talents: he ran for congress (new haven green party), rooker pointer, groom-to-be (and i'm a bridesmaid), and a poet. his latest is published in the apple valley review - go here, go down to daniel sumrall (i counted down to the 34th name) and clickit. i like it. i don't know anything about poetry, but i like it.

my mom called me to let me know that she saw some white comforters at tj maxx (she and my dad are kinda obsessed with hitting that store at least once a week - i fear that they will turn into my aunt barb, who, upon retirement, went to target, walmart, shopko and kmart EVERY DAY after her daily breakfast at hardee's. then she moved to florida, where i can only assume she keeps a similar schedule. her life in general is gross). i had told her that pos and i wanted to get a white comforter or duvet, meaning like at christmas or something, and it's funny that she went looking for it right away. i mention this because it got me to thinking how weird it is to call it a "comforter" - like, boo hoo, i am sad, i will wrap myself in this warm down-filled blanket and calm myself down because that is its purpose, a big swaddler for adults. this reminds me of when pos and i park in lots that require your ticket to be validated by the store or movie theater so you don't have to pay full price. we wander around looking for the validation machine or the customer service desk and one of us will wimper "will someone please validate me?" and the other person will say something along the lines of "you ARE a good person. you are worthy of being loved" - you know, to help them feel better, to validate their self-worth.

yeah. anyway.

WTF is with the phil spector hung jury? oh, and his 27-year-old wife is a total dumbass - surprised?

heather from iafyaf interviews brmc here.

the nyt hangs out with tina fey here.

you know my love for hideous tattoos: here's one that's retarded, here's one that's fucking stupid, and this guy is pretty much simply terrifying.

off to cali.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

"an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars... our great depression is our lives" - tyler durden

my job has been su-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-cking hardcore lately, but i keep doing awesome personal-life things, so i feel schized out - boo hoo during the day, radness at night and weekends. in the last week i got to see wilco play the pritzker pavilion, a frank-gehry-designed beauty in millennium park, for $10 lawn seats (the view didn't suck, though - special shout-out to pjl, who staked out an amazing spot front and center of the lawn, a mere 20 feet from expensive tickets - i made the right choice when i hired him in august). they played for like two hours, including older stuff that i love, and jeff tweedy was in friendly spirits, saying goofy shit like "NAILED IT!" after a song. the show was supposed to be a benefit for a homeless organization, and they handed out commemorative magnets after the show (too bad they're ugly). chicago critic snark jim derogatis rated the show nearly perfect. hearing "california stars" live was perfect for me.

also in the last week, got to see rilo kiley, black rebel motorcycle club, and won tickets to see an upright citizens brigade sketch and improv show. all were great in their own, very different ways. i was surprised with the number of underage screamy girls at rilo kiley, shouting at jenny lewis about how much they love her, and was thoroughly creeped out by this nasty old dude with a greasy white ponytail and hmo glasses who was leaning against the railing a few feet away from us and didn't watch a single song - he was too busy staring at said underage girls. hurl in my mouth, seriously. brmc was awesome because they're dark and hott - "killing the light" is one of my favorite songs of the year, and i wasn't all that excited when pos bought the new album when it came out, but i listen to it all the time. and the upright citizens brigade show was funny - three cute jewish boys and their special blend of humor and pathos. eb and i went on a little dinner and comedy date because sf, her husband of four months, is aways being sent to other cities for work, and i wanted to treat the lady to a night out. without, like, paying for anything.

irish musician simple kid opened for brmc, and as soon as i saw him i wanted to hate him - hippie hair and headband and poncho and banjo and harmonica in holder. but then he cued up his laptop, played his multimedia show on the screen and stared playing, and he was really funny and smart and the music was good - he reminded me of early beck. his duet with kermit the frog was a little too precious for me, but i'm gonna have to look into his albums.

jmk likes to tell me battered-women and women-are-stupid jokes. he also sent me this excellent onion news network story about how there are no battered women, okay? they're just clumsy, alright? my name is motherfucking luka, man, so if you hear something late at night . . .

pos and i had a bet where i won $20 because i knew that ed from live is the waiter in fight club and he didn't believe me, but then he won it back because i thought that the soundtrack was by the chemical brothers, but it was by the dust brothers. nerds.

my mother sends me and my siblings shit like this. too bad this wasn't around when i was growing up - she would have bought it for us fo sho.

you know, i spend a lot of time on the internet - reading the news, trolling for new music, communicating with my friends over email and the blog, finding information - and sometimes i happen upon the inexplicable and the so very random. i spent a lot of time looking at these people.

this is pretty amazing, mostly because that outfit is EXACTLY what i just bought online yesterday.

i love directing you to mj's blog - he posts the best shit, like this.

check out this awesome video by awesome chicago band office.

and i will leave you with three videos to face your phobias, courtesy of three posts from one day on best week ever: claustrophobia (that wave pool looks so refreshing), evil clowns, and dane cook singing.

i have to go to bed now so that i can get up and go to the job that i am really not liking right now. pisser.