Tuesday, February 13, 2007

fistful of love


i felt the love when:
they let us out of work at 3:00
but i didn't when:
it was because we just got a shitload of snow dumped on us
i felt the love when:
i curled up on the couch to watch the dreamers (which was creepy but good)
but i didn't when:
the biggest, nastiest muthafuckin bug crawled across my floor and i threw my shoe at it and then it went under the radiator and now i am scared
i felt the love when:
my mom called
but i didn't when:
she let me go after five minutes because she wanted to watch the westminster dog show
i felt the love when:
my bf, snowed in at his house 17 miles away, called
but i didn't when:
i told him about my little friend under the radiator and he freaked me out about how carol has probably infested my building with roaches and insects and garbage-eating vermin and that when i'm asleep, the bug will return and crawl on my face and i'll probably accidentally swallow it, as this happens all the time. he thinks he's hysterical.
i felt the love when:
i am starting to get my appetite back and tried to eat a can of nice, low-sodium healthy choice chicken noodle soup for dinner
but i didn't when:
i tasted it

ah well. tomorrow will probably be better. i have hello kitty valentines to deliver to my work friends, i'm going over to pos' for dinner tomorrow night, and i have some great little presents to give him. and i fully intend to eat chocolate tomorrow, now that i am no longer scared of food in general and animal byproducts in particular.

i kinda wanted to do this for valentine's day tomorrow night, but my stomach isn't feeling up to the joke.

in honor of tomorrow, which the greeting card industry (and crappy mall jewelry stores and 1-800-flowers and whitman's samplers and catholic saints) is to blame all the hype on, here is an interesting story about gifts whose entire points are to be obnoxiously expensive, as well as how economists argue that the only financially sensible gift to give is cash, which is terribly romantic. here's a ten dollar bill, go buy yourself somethin pretty.

sarah silverman answers your love and sex questions here.

that's all i've got on this cold wintery night. gonna go to bed with a can of raid and a brick.

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