Monday, February 26, 2007

happy birfday to me.


got back from new york tonight. i have amazing, generous, hysterical friends who i miss a lot and always show me a great time. i have the perfect boyfriend. i have a lot to be thankful for, despite being soooo old now. i kept telling everyone that, come monday, they were all dead to me, as i would be 30 and thus starting my new life. i have reconsidered this position, because they seriously showed me the best time i could have possibly had.

pos and i got in friday afternoon and went to get mac and cheese at a restaurant that only serves mac and cheese with jms and rm, and then went a'drinkin with a bunch of my peeps at a kool kidz bar in the east village. there is a pizza place around the corner from the ecf/rm/lk apartment that i like a lot, so pos and i walked down to grab a slice of ziti-topped pizza while we waited for them to make us a cheese to take to the bar for everyone. pos is southside chicago and takes his thin-crust pizza a little too seriously, but he admitted how excellent - and possibly superior - nyc pizza can be. rb rolled in from dc, i got to see am and tc, and lk let us stay in her room, which was totally awesome, as there was no way that pos and i could have shared the pull-out loveseat, and floor space isn't exactly abundant in a nyc apartment, even if it does have two bedrooms on one floor and one up a ladder-like staircase like the ecf/rm/lk palace.

after brunch with friends on saturday, pos and i went walking around midtown and into central park, and then met up with em at the museum of arts and design, as she took the train into the city just to see us and because she thought that if we were meant to go anywhere in the city together, it was certainly to see a show about subversive crafting. when we lived together i was crafting up a storm - pot holders and paint-by-numbers and cross-stitch - and she has always been a decoupage, photography, collage person. we went and got schnacks and walked around the park, and she had to take the train back to jersey but smiled and told me that i was gonna loooove what everyone had in store for me that night.

after a slice of pizza, we went back to the apartment and were hanging around drinking beer and i mentioned that i ought to go change to get ready to go, and rm and lk were like "yeah, we actually have something for you to wear" and busted out this totally awesome tshirt with a twister-esque pie chart on it and a photo of me mounted on cardboard and attached in the middle as a spinner. it is SO FUCKING AWESOME - it has actions for me to do after it is spun, which were "lick someone," "act like a lady," "spin again," "do a shot," "drink," and "dance, bitch! dance!" i was dying laughing. they also made pos a shirt, where they took a photo of me petting a dog that was taken a few years ago and photoshopping pos laying down under a blanket, and my hand is positioned to that it looks like i am grabbing his crotch. super klassy!!!

i wanted to go to kgb bar, my favorite new york nightspot because it's close to the ecf/rm/lk apartment and it's just a cool place where you can usually grab a table and hear what people are saying to you, and more people came out to help celebrate. totally random: pos spotted a guy who looked like rob sheffield and i was like "that IS rob sheffield," sitting at a table with a group of people. i typically get more excited about seeing/meeting writers more than actors and musicians, because i am a wordaholic and am usually more effected by an amazing story that is beautifully written than by a performance or a string of notes. pos bought me his book love is a mix tape and when i was done reading it i had this total desire to email him - it's a heartbreaking and perfect memoir of his wife, who suddenly died when they were 30. i love all of the pop culture stuff he writes for rolling stone, but this was unexpectedly lovely and tragic and ultimately optimistic. mad props for how amazing this little book is. so i never did email him, but i didn't want to be drunk and lame and wearing a spinner t-shirt and gushing that it's my birthday party and his book broke my heart, so i didn't talk to him but i was happy to have seen him.

anyway, rm and lk showed up with a big bakery box and i was like "mmm - cake!!!" and everyone was like "um, are you ready?" they all took off their sweaters and shirts to reveal that everyone was wearing a shirt with a photo of me, or a representation of my life from the past few years (my southpark character, random photos, the bird couch - which is a story for another time). this was seriously awesome. then they opened the box and holy fucking shit, that was the most depraved - and rad - cake i had ever seen. i have long been fond of talking about vag, vajayjays, vageens, and all of these people have been around for, participated in and encouraged some of the filthiest funniest talk about such matters. they told me that they wanted to have "it's like thowing a hotdog down a hallway - happy 30th" but that "vag of honor" fit better (inspired by the graphic that am sent out earlier in the week and which i posted about feb 21). it was from masturbakers, which is like three doors down from the apartment. the cake was quite good and i of course had to pose with it as i licked it and gave it the shocker. so sick. so fucking funny. i have never tasted actual vag before, but that was really tasty.

i cannot tell my family about this cake, and i am thankful that my boyfriend thought it was amusing.

i also got really great little giftys like a corndog air freshener (mmm! fresh!) and a "what would a unicorn do?" spinner folder.

after sleeping off the beer and sugarvag on sunday, pos and i checked into the times square hilton, which i had paid for with all of the hilton points i have accumulated from all of my random work trips, and we went and saw liev schriber in talk radio, which was seriously great - he has the perfect voice and is a great actor. the famale lead was the pretty blonde DA from law and order: svu, which i think i watch more than i realize (a law and order is ALWAYS on). we walked around times square, i haggled with a street vendor for a great blue handbag, we went to dinner at a nice italian restaurant, and we laid in bed and watched the oscars. even though today was my birthday proper and was spent at the airport, trying to get on a standby flight so we could avoid the snow both in new york and chicago, and then just sort of laying around and eating thai delivery for dinner, this was seriously the best birthday i could have possibly had. everything was sooo fun. and now i am 30, and i don't feel any different. not that i thought i would; i was just momentarily concerned.

enjoy the photos. they barely serve the cake and the t-shirts justice.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Kristine!!!!! So glad to hear that you had a superfab weekend. Only you could have a birthday celebration that involved the shocker!-Sue

Sue said...

by the way, the vag cake is real thoughtful and all but don't forget the kick ass Hello Kitty you got back in the CNVS days? :) Later ol' lady. sue