Tuesday, May 15, 2007

the post in which i demonstrate that i am not quite ready to be middle-management, as i still have a heart

i really miss the woman who used to work for me. we were a division of two people, and i was technically her boss, but when i first started at my job we worked for the same person and it therefore made everyone a lot more comfortable, when we had a big reorganization and she started reporting directly to me, to keep it casual and team-based. she was really smart and efficient and organized and had a calm, sweet demeanor, but could also be very funny. she got a really great new job and left last month. my boss and i rewrote the job description, making the new position incorporate a lot of the dumb shit that i am sick of doing to free up my time, and started interviewing. i was even pretty sure of who i wanted to hire when there was a hiring freeze, just another annoying game that companies play that really benefit no one.

so i was offered a temp for the rest of the fiscal year, which would be may 31. i don't want a temp, i want someone who can take over and build relationships and take some ownership of projects, but i know better than to turn down help, so my temp started last monday.

she was nice enough. friendly. had been studying theology but didn't want to be a pastor so now she was temping, and i was under the impression that she had never temped anywhere else before. i gave her some very basic things to do - make some calls and update a spreadsheet, write a draft of a letter with information i gave her, address the letters and save them in the correct folders. and every day she would come back with the work i had asked her to do, and it was a mess. she seemed to be in love with inventing complex color-coded information keys using multiple highlighters which was, incidentally, completely unnecessary. the spreadsheet had the wrong dates and numbers all over it, and this wasn't even the kind of spreadsheet with formulas and shit, just a glorified chart. i asked her to redo it. twice. the third version is sitting on my desk, still fucked up, which i will tomorrow spend at least two hours redoing. the letters were poorly written and i would edit them for her, and when she would bring back round two most of the mistakes were still there, or new ones emerged. i realized that she was the kind of person who could infer nothing. i had to spell out every detail. basically, all of the time i've spent asking her to correct her work and me double-checking everything is equal to the amount of time it would have taken me to do them myself. even the calls she made seemed to be fucked up - i don't know how she managed that one, but i got a few confused emails from people who had no idea what she was talking about.

so i had her fired. i mentioned to my boss that i was unhappy with the quality of her work and she was like "tell HR and they'll get you a new one. it's not a big deal." maybe it's not a big deal, but i feel really really bad. sorta. i don't know how it works, but apparently the agency is sending a new person in tomorrow morning and my temp, my poor dumb temp, will be called and told her new assignment (if she gets one). i felt so guilty about this that i hid in mc's office, bothering him, for the last 20 minutes of the day, so that i wouldn't have to look her in the face and say either 1) see you tomorrow! or 2) your services wont be needed here anymore (or whatever it is people say when they fire you). when i walked past the office she is set up in after i knew she had left, i saw that she had left her sad weight watchers water bottle and pocket english dictionary, fully expecting to be back tomorrow to obliviously type and highlight all day.

part of me says fuck her, business is business, and part of me feels really guilty.

i am sooo not meant to be a cut-throat corporate badass bosslady.


Miss Misc said...

It's okay, she will find a place to put her remedial Excel knowledge and highlighting skills to use.

Not everyone can color in the lines and I'm sure her temp agency has highlighted (no pun intended) this portion of her profile to make her appeal to future employers.

To sum it up:

Not YO Fault
Her Fault.

Anonymous said...

your first big red flag should have been that she was a theology major. that tells you:

1. that she went to a school that will admit anybody.

2. that she believes that people have walked on water.

3. that she can continue to fuck up over and over again because she's not a failure... she's merely in the waiting room to go to a better place.

i don't know, some people aren't cut out for the intense, cut throat bad ass world of cubical land.