Thursday, May 24, 2007

video clipz: i like to watch

new white stripes video. best part: meg's milky dead eye. second best part: the line "you can't be a pimp and a prostitute, too." they released tour date info and they're playing the aragon in september. count me in.

the day i first saw this online, i must have watched it like eleventy hundred times. db sent me this version, edited properly at the end so that you don’t have to keep replaying it yourself.

jmk sent this to me with the email subject line “don’t you dare laugh.” you’re an asshole, jmk. and so am i. tears.

i hate birds, but not fake birds, and i love tv on the radio, but maybe not this song all that much - this video is like a live-action diorama. you can also download the entire new adult swim mp3 compilation off that page.

not a video, just a photo. go ahead, humiliate your kid.

i know that ballet lessons and sewing machines are expensive, but it's not a huge secret that i'm a total hag and would really really like to have a gay son. good thing i can get a policy to help cover all of those needed expenses.

three classic moments from qvc, sent to me from jmk. you can buy this shitty ladder, amputate your arm with this shitty sword, or just call into qvc and prank them.

regardless of whether you choose to just watch the news report or listen to the entire call, you seriously need to check out the 911 call from a wayyyyy-too-stoned cop.

anyway . . .

you wanna know how much of a moron my first temp was? today i noticed that she (incorrectly) entered info onto a spreadsheet for me and listed a woman i know whose name is jeanie as “genie.” bitch is gonna need a magic lamp and genie to find a job that will hire her drooling incompetent ass.

a forward from jmk - children's books that just didn't sell. like most forwards, some are dumb and some are great.

1. You Were an Accident

2. The Little Sissy Who Snitched

3. Some Kittens Can Fly!

4. Getting More Chocolate on Your Face

5. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her

6. The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals ofNorth Amer-Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!

7. The Kid's Guide to Hitchhiking

8. You Are Different and That's Bad

9. Dad's New Wife Timothy

10. POP! Goes the Hamster...and Other Great Microwave Games

11. Testing Homemade Parachutes Using Only Your Household Pets

12. The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad

13. Babar Meets the Taxidermist

14. Curious George and the High Voltage Fence

15. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables

16. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will

17. The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and Are Shot Dead

18. How to Become the Dominant Military Power in Your Elementary School

19. Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear

20. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?

21. Bi-Curious George

22. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

23. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share

24. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book

25. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption

26. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator

27. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia

28. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way

29. Your Nightmares Are Real

30. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School

31. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things

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