Wednesday, July 25, 2007

jorts, lolcats, video clips: i love life

you have no idea how frustrating it is to not have time to do the one thing that you really love doing: sleeping. also, keeping up with the blog. things ought to slow down now, so i’ll try to post more than once or twice a week.
it’s summertime, and summertime means JORTS!

so i don’t even remember where i found that “i can has cheezeburger?” cat photo i posted last time, and i had NO IDEA wtf it was or where it came from or that there is a secret underground cyberweb club of people who are into “lolcats” (click here for wikipedia page) and that there is an actual http://icanhascheezburger.com website (ab tipped me off to all of this, and i curse her for it). the site explains “Some people call pictures of cats with funny/weird or many other derived types of captions lolcats or cat macros. The practice of captioning, specifically, cats started many years ago on anonymous forums, most prominently called the *chans. Supposedly, the practice of posting and the actual type of these images was termed ‘Caturday.’” i had no intention of becoming involved in and thus silently endorsing something so insanely nerdy. some of them really do make me laugh, though. there are other variations of the lolcat phenomenon, most notably the walrus and his bucket. oh my god, why do i now know about this? as pos would say, “jesus wept.”

mj sent me this photo of the sammich-yearning kitty. so i guess that technically he is a lolcat? why must everything be labeled and part of a weird scene? can’t it just be a random photo with a stupid caption?

jmk sent me the opening scene (last item on this page) of the aqua teen hunger force movie (which had netflix written all over it when it came out), which is an updated version of the 1950s singing concessions reminding you to stay quiet and buy a hotdog. he believes that mastodon is the band playing, and he knows how much i love them (the creeping look of distaste on my face at pitchfork and deciding after a song and a half that it was time to go stand in the very long atm line and hit the bathroom. they were very loud so I heard them the whole time anyway.) i wonder if the guy in the mail room is into them.

only a wikipedia nerd who KNOWS that being into wikipedia is nerdy would find this funny, and i am one such person: a fake wiki page that lists all of the lame arguments that editors get into over the most minute details and triflin knowledge.

the japanese are totally crazy – and totally awesome. here is a clip from a game show where contestants play human tetris.

can't wait for this. i'll be sure to snobbily tell everyone i know that i was totally into little britain way before they were. similar: this shirt.

i received this photo from sp (magazine cover but still halfway NSFW) of the rad crazy fuck-you feminist beth ditto with the email subject line “oh my.” bc sent me this wife swap clip with a not-rad crazy (in a bad way) jesus freak over-emoter ranting and raving about how the other family wasn’t christian with some serious old-school fire and brimstone. his email subject line: “oh my.” is that the new polite way to say “this fat bitch is nuts”?

i'm reading the dive from clausen's pier right now and i really really like it. it takes place in madison, wisco, near where i grew up. i missed reading novels, but i tore through the gigantic stack on unread new yorkers that i had been hoarding for almost a year, so i can get back to the stack of unread books. i think i got so far behind on my reading because i gots a boyfriend last summer. now that the novelty has worn off, i can read on the couch at night instead of cooking him dinner and surprising him with tickets to shows and watching movies with him. hahahah. just kidding, pos - i like you more than books, and that's saying a lot.

lots of mascara running down my face for tammy faye. despite her easily-mocked appearance, marriages to cons, and personae, she was actually really kool. check out the eyes of tammy faye, which showed how she truly was a good christian, reaching out to the gay community, talking about aids, and never judging anyone else, even way back in the early 80s before it was fashionable to be a “compassionate conservative.” sorry you died too early, but thanks for the points. she really shouldn’t have been on larry king the day or two before she died – she looked horrible, and it felt like a weird freak show grasp for ratings. Which larry would NEVER do.

you’ve probably seen the wedding party doing the entire choreographed “thriller” dance (you can totally tell that the groom was the one who wanted to do it and everyone else just went along with it, since it was his dream since he was like seven to someday play the michael jackson role and be the head dancer with a large group of people backing him up in public and this was his only chance), but did you see the filipino prisoners do it in the exercise yard? vastly more fucked up. the “woman” in the white tank top alone makes me fear prison excessively. one night pos and i went for a walk and, upon rounding the corner, noticed that hydrate was playing the “thriller” video. hydrate is a gay bar (it used to be called, i shit you not, the manhole) and doesn’t have windows in the summer, just large open spaces that they cover with metal roll-down doors when they close. so we heard the familiar music and actually stopped on the sidewalk to watch the entire video, because even after 20-plus years and the hugely weird freak that michael became, that video and its zombie dance are still pretty awesome.

jmk sent this blog post, pointing out two elements of comic genius – the title of the post and the joke at the very end.

tb has hated corey haim for years, with good reason. he sent me this “video letter to his fans” (check out the really cheesy pool scenes – this wasn’t meant to be the trailer for a softcore porn?) and then later an IM that said “corey haim” and i replied “what? is he dead” and he said “worse – he has to live with that video.” so true. he isn’t looking so good these days, and his coked-up and cocky/retarded youth surely haunt him (if he has any self-awareness whatsoever, which is debatable after watching his video). oh my god, this is so tragic – click on “artwork” on his lame website – you can commission him to paint you a masterpiece (“Much like COREY's favorite painter, Pablo Picasso, his style is very unique”) – all you have to do is tell him your favorite colors and what your hobbies are. wooooow drugs fuck you up.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

here.

work = grrrr.

hahahahah - click here. not to be rude or anything, and i don't condone violence and the destruction of others' property and blah blah blah, but douchy mcdoucherson deserved it.

it's the answer to my cat allergy: freakish fake pet that "Breathes continuously for up to three months on the same set of 2 D batteries" and "Requires no feeding, walking or doctor visits and no behavioral issues." creepy and weird - both the product and the inventor. and the ad itself - "i don't want a pet because of behavioral issues, so i'll just put a sleeping robot in the corner that i can stroke and sleep with."

this dude has been married six times. he goes to the disney parks (all of them) constantly. check out his house. oh, and i almost forgot, and his tattoos, too. totally nutz. how does he pay for all of this shit?

sigh. click here for movie tattoos. i seriously don't get it. i love looking at them, but i just don't understand.

jenny lewis talks about "the moneymaker."

i loooove michael k. i don't know how i would get through my days if i didn't have dlisted. he was interviewed by some brits AND featured in the new york times. hearts!!! totally jealous that he gets to blog full-time. work blowz.

i like girl talk (real name: greg gillis) because he mashes and remixes pretty much every song that i've ever liked since i was 11, and makes them sound new and awesome. also, he was a biomedical engineer until he realized that being a dj was something he could do full-time, so he's not some untalented celebretard who became a dj to get better drugs and to have something to do. his set at pitchfork was a big let-down for me, and through no fault of his own, but from poor planning for the third stage. after trying to hear cat power (bad sound) at the first stage, we walked to the third stage for his set and were pretty far back in the crowd, so we couldn't see or hear very well. i blame pitchfork organizers for this. wouldn't it have made more sense to put girl talk on a main stage, since he has been getting crazy buzz for months about how great he is, and put headliner yoko ono, a 74-year-old with limited appeal and even less musical talent, on the third stage? we walked past as we were leaving the park and laughed as we heard the YAYAYAYYAYAYYAYAYYAYAYAY screaming and "sonic musicscapes" coming from the stage. i know that she has a place in history, but she really isn't the best choice for the saturday night headliner of a rock fest. jmk sent me this page with a girl talk set, and it sounds pretty similar to what he spun at pitchfork.

i found a lot of the crowd to be annoying (hideous fashion show, ironic facial hair, made me feel old, etc), but pitchfork definitely had its moments of brilliance and wonderment for me - the sunday afternoon i spent watching junior boys (like george michael vocals and depeche mode beats but less poppy), the sea and cake (mad love for archer pruitt, creator of sof boy), jamie liddell (i didn't know anything about him before but shit he has an amazing old-school soul voice and i'll have to look into his stuff), stephen malkmus (yay pavement, but i haven't kept up with any of his solo stuff, and i enjoyed his set - it was good), of montreal (awesome. so gay and rad), the new pornographers (i'm always let down when neko isn't with them, but they're always so great anyway), and de la soul (old-skool rads AND they brought price paul out). i was soooo disappointed with saturday, but sunday was a great day. i didn't make it out friday for gza and sonic youth because nr and her husband were in town and i couldn't bail on them just to go see some bands. although apparently another of nr's chicago friends had no problem doing this - and when she said "my other friend is skipping friday night to hang out with us" he said "apparently your friend doesn't know anything about the bands playing friday night" - implying that sonic youth is more important than nr. well, you're wrong, pal. FRIENDS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN BANDS. even sonic youth. the end.

also, what i love about pitchfork: lots of indie crafts and rock posters and homemade goodies and vinyl to buy. it's like a punkrock bazaar. i got three necklaces (one is a unicorn necklace that this girl made, one has birdies on it, and one is a heart), two melted record bowls ($2 each - can't beat that with a stick), a jenny lewis rock print (fourth one on this page), and - best of all - a rock print of the hideout calendar from september 2006, which just so happens to feature the hideout block party with girls vs boys, ted leo + pharmacists, and !!!. this was purchased because this was my first date with pos. so fucking cute! we already got our tickets for this year's block party, and i totally want to wear the same outfit i wore on our first date, but quitting smoking has turned me a little bit lardy, so we'll see.

i have NO IDEA what's going on in the photo i chose today, nor what the brilliant (i'm sure) catch phrase means, but that shit makes me laugh and laugh. totally dubm, man.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

you get nothin.


it's the worst week, work-wise, for me all year. i'll be lucky if i get home before 8:00 tonight. so no updates, no pitchfork fest review, no linx and clipz and such until i have a few moments to spare, which wasn't yesterday and wont be today. i'll see what i can do tomorrow.


it hurts me way more than it hurts you, rest assured.


here, this will tide you over some: a 185-page online gallery of portrait tattoos. that jack sparrow one one the first page looks really effeminate and lame.


Thursday, July 12, 2007

schtuff

my "one" wayne coyne tells the onion av club how to survive an outdoor summer music fest. thanks wayne! i bought some small bottles of purell and travel-sized kleenex packets at target last weekend in anticipation of having to use port-a-potties at various music fests and neighborhood parties this summer. we went to the taste of chicago last week cuz we got free seats for the black crowes show (i love the song "remedy," which is the last song that they played, but most of the time i was talking to my friends or getting beer or wondering "how sick of singing 'she talks to angels' are you at this point, chris robinson?") and te told me, after visiting the portable wc, "i think they backed a horse into mine to use." funny, but puke.

jane is no longer. jane pratt (thrown out two years ago as editor-in-chief of a magazine that she named after herself) is calm and measured in her reaction (thinly-veiled glee). i used to think jane pratt was the shit. now i just think she is a piece of it. i can't really explain why it is that this still matters to me. i mean, don't get me wrong, it doesn't, i haven't even subscribed for a few years, but sassy was a big deal to me and then jane came out when i was in college, and i always wanted it to rule, but it never did. sigh. i'll stop caring soon enough. ps: i did buy the sassy book when it came out, but haven't read it yet.

the wapo slams the smashing pumpkins' show at the 9:30 club. i've never really given a shit about the sp - my sister bought all their albums, so if i ever wanted to listen, which was close to never, i'd just borrow hers - but i have enjoyed the "who does billy corgan think he is? he isn't even culturally relevant anymore, and he's still such a huge bitch!" indignation with the release of their latest album.

the puppetmaster behind the backstreet boys and n'sync is behind bars. i find it odd that his charges were all financial, and not because of what he did to music.

mr winehouse is (unsurprisingly) shady. also, i fear for amy's health - and her teefs. this post from someone who knew him a few years ago is funny.

lady bird johnson died. i now have 6 more points and am in second place. i need 64 more points to be in first place. i don't think i'll be winning this year, but the year is only a little more than half-over. while anna nicole was a big death this year (not a shock, just really sad), don't count out britney spears. bitch is such a mess.

i usually am not surprised and don't give a fuck when lame faux musicians rip off old un-hits and try to pass them off as their own, but it's pretty brazen, in the age of cyberwebbery and such, to think you're gonna get away with it. i had heard about the "girlfriend" rip-off, but check out this clear copy of a peaches song. avril is such a tard - those lyrics are soooo lame. she's so punk.

the wapo reviews the new spoon. if ga (x5) is anything like kill the moonlight or gimme fiction, it will be overplayed constantly at my house for the next eight months. i was able to find all but one track to download for free yesterday.

i'm not so sure i'm pro-death penalty (i'm probably anti- but, really, i'm so agnostic about most things that i'll just say that i wouldn't give myself the death penalty but have no right to tell others . . . hahahah that was dumb) . . . but i think it's interesting that china executes its former governmental officials who lie and cheat and steal and make decisions based on personal gain rather than consumer and citizen safety. i wonder if even the mere threat of that possibility would alter the way that our current administration in particular and the entire government in general operate. (probably not).

ewww. red bull tastes like liquid smarties to me, anyway.

i'm really happy to have a boyfriend, not just because he is supa awesome and keeps me totally entertained and still likes me despite knowing me better than anyone else, but that means i don't have to go on dates anymore. the year before pos and i got together, i went on like five dates, and they were all disastrous in one way or another. seriously - some of them were total head cases. i don't think either pos or i will ever break it off, but if it happens, i know where i can find more freakazoids to go out for an awkward drink with. or just cut right to the batshit insane chase and find a scientologist.

humph. i didn't know that anton lavey was selling insurance in seattle.

cd sent me a text recently that let me know that the bill for his dinner at a restaurant inexplicably arrived to his table in a return of the jedi script instead of a normal little fake-leather folder, and that i was probably his only friend who would be excited by this. in case this piqued your interest (hello fellow nerd), here is an awesome flickr album of arty vader masks.

the only big surprise of the ex-surgeon general's admission that the bush administration wouldn't let him do his goddamn job is that i now love dr. carmona even more now. i saw him speak in dc a year ago and i thought that he was a total badass and wondered why bush had nominated him - he was so chill and down-to-earth and had the best personal history (raised in harlem, dropped out of high school, was in a gang, joined the army, got shipped to vietnam, and then later went and got his GED, went to college and became a doctor, and worked with cities on disaster preparedness in case of terrorism). he didn't seem like the paper-pushing, finger-pointing, blame-shifting hypocritical fuckface that most presidential appointees are, and he seemed confused as to why he was named, too. he rules for telling it like it is.

music lists! top ten most annoying songs found here. agreed. have i ever mentioned that the first time i saw the "my humps" video i was in an akron hotel room for the shittiest thanksgiving ever, and i seriously thought that it was a joke, mocking the vapid and disgusting consumerism and skankiness of popular music? and then it turned out that the joke was on me? click here for the 10 most anticlimactic band reunions of all time. yeah, i don't expect to see a new pixies album out anytime soon; i saw loudQUIETloud and i don't think that those four people have much business trying to be creative with one another. and, finally, here are the top 25 worst band names ever. i think they forgot a few - like fountains of wayne, piss christ (i am reminded of this band because a guy on the el this morning had a piss christ pin on his backpack), goat lord, and o-town (because they were a manufactured pop band and are referring to orlando, which is probably the worst city in america). jmk just entered my office and i asked him what the worst band names he knows of and he said anal cunt. i said "umm, really? that's a band?" and he said they're friends with nashville pussy. he also told me about goblin cock, which i can't say out loud without laughing. i really like the word hobgoblin. i think it's a really useful diss for fugs that you hate.

i just looked up a.c. on wikipedia, and their logo made me vomit into my mouth.

Monday, July 09, 2007

mostly about music

the best online quiz you will ever take: find out if you will survive a zombie attack. i'm a total goner.

jmk sent me this clip that has compiled the "best" moments from the worst movies ever made. highly entertaining. i was sure that my favorite part was in the worst acting ever ("garbage day!") category, but then i saw "most random line ever."

i'm kinda confused about the new rilo kiley song, "the moneymaker." i like it, it's kinda funky, and maybe trying to be dirty, but i don't entirely like it, because it's kinda . . . well, just weird. for them. and jenny lewis. the video is also weird - like nine minutes of interviews with porn stars (i guess - i got bored and fast forwarded) and then an unironic video for the song. whatcha up to, jenny? i hope you're not a genre-hopper - i LOVE rabbit fur coat and hope that you weren't just doing it because dustry springfield/1970s dolly parton was fashionable for four minutes in LA. stereogum also has footage of her back in the day when she was a kiddie actress (or, if you read between the lines on rabbit fur coat, worked to support her mom's coke habit). watch here for both. download "the moneymaker" here.

new song i really really like: the new pornographers "myriad harbour" - download here. i'm excited to see them on sunday at pitchfork - right in between of montreal and de la soul (random but rad). i'm kinda miffed that cat power is on just a half-hour before girl talk on saturday, cuz i wanted to see both sets. also very curious to hear what yoko ono is all about - pos describes her music as "a cat in a woodchipper" but maybe she will surprise us. i'm not totally thrilled about this year's lineup - iron and wine again? boring. the ponys AGAIN? i know they're a chicago band, but i'm sick of them.

it's courtney love's birthday and stereogum celebrates by making fun of her new shitty song. listen here and try to get over her weird plastic clown face. i've said my piece on cwhoretney before - but i suppose that i will give her endless opportunities to make me like her again. this one doesn't do it.

my dream is to get my hairs cut here. i didn't know that it existed until today.

that photo is a sign pos and i saw on my apartment building's front gate on a saturday afternoon (it was removed when we returned like an hour later). we submitted it to passive-aggressive notes, but they never posted it. which was rather passive-aggressive of them.

Friday, July 06, 2007

cutest couple ever making it official.

ally and timmy got engaged! i am so happy for them. yesterday was her birthday and they went out for dinner and a walk, and he asked her. they're a really rad couple - both very smart and funny and totally adorable. i can safely say that he really is one of the cutest boys i have ever known and he has the best black hair with premature gray strands (i knew i was getting older when i found prematre gray to be hott). he is SO cute, in fact, that i thought it was hysterical when he told us that he was walking home through his alley in dc when a homeless woman looked at him and said "you're so ugly, i wouldn't even take your picture." he felt genuinely bad about it. don't worry, timmy - she was obviously just crazy.

congrats!

i fully expect there to be a masturbakers cake at your reception.

things people sent me.

rb sent me this website, where you can anonymously post an apology. a decent idea for a participation blog, but also maybe just for people too lazy to make a post secret card.

two people (mj and mob, to be precise) sent me this collection of rejected "love is . . ." cartoons, and pos and i read them together on my couch and laughed uproariously. whoever made these is a comic genius.

mj sent me an email that said "i was gonna call my blog this, but it was already taken" and provided this link.

kk sent me this article (also includes explanatory photo) because we are both from wisconsin and therefore can truly appreciate the necessity of this product.

older brother tb sent this article to me and our little sister db, which was very jackassy and funny of him.

bc sent this on the 4th of july (but i would daresay suggest that you could watch it any day of the year).

jmk sent this article about a naughty billboard. i think it's clever. just as clever as advertising a "topless carwash," where the girls are actually wearing shirts but don't clean the roof of your car.

mj sent this op-ed musing about bad tattoos. this is a line that just can't be beat, and could only be found in the san francisco chronicle: "Like ecstasy, like your first strap-on, like your first shameful warmonger of a president, you never forget your first tattoo."

it's so juvenile and wrong, but this early-80s commercial truly is the best example of how timing is everything. sent by tb.

tc sent me this article about an elderly hipster chorus and noted that "i bet their version of 'optimistic' was better than hanson's." i will always love tc for being the only person i know who encourages - nay, embraces - my dorktastic secret likes and wants. ENABLER. in case you have a hard time picturing this, check out this really great video bc sent me of a bunch of elderly brits doing "my generation."

people i don't even know send me unicorn clips. i have received planet unicorn (dig the cheesy techno theme song, heyyy); this clip that, as warned, is annoying but funny; and this commercial, which features one of my favorite songs and technically isn't about unicorns but the song reminds me of one.

perhaps i will have time to post more later. stuff that i actually found all by myself. i do appreciate the assistance, however.

bloggy turns two.

happy birfday, blog!

you bring me much satisfaction and joy. sometimes i neglect you, but you always patiently await my next ramble and cornucopia of links, pictures, and tales.

you are my best friend hobby.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

i'm it.

sarah from sector-9 "tagged me" and i always like to play along, so here is my entry.

rules of the game:

* We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.

* Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

* People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

* Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

so here goes:

1. i fractured two ribs in college . . . from coughing. i was coughing really hard, apparently. i had bronchitis and was still smoking away. it really fucking hurt and the nurse at the emergeny room was a real c u next tuesday. they were hairline fractures - it's not like my ribs broke in half and punctured my lung - but i was on codeine cough syrup for a while, which i quite enjoyed. for years afterwards, i would be able to tell it was going to rain because my left ribs would ache.

2. i have a true love/hate relationship with driving. i have to drive in random cities i have never even been to before for work and i am quite proficient in arriving to the airport in, say, atlanta, renting a car, and being on my merry way, while i will refuse to even borrow pos' car to run to the grocery store when i am home in chicago. i will drive anywhere except for LA, NYC, DC, and chicago, which i suppose is unfortunate and weird, as i have lived in half of those cities. although this changed last night, when pos and i went to see moxie motive (i had the honor of running the t-shirt table) at tonic room, which is probably two miles away from my place, and he got drunk and i was sipping diet cokes all night, so i drove us and even found parking on addison - i was very nervous about having to parallel park but there was an open spot on the corner. all in all, a successful jaunt that i was seriously worried about for most of the evening.

3. there are three kidz in my family (i am the middle). tb is three years older and db is three years younger. my parents were born three days apart (same year). my birthday is three days before tb's. when i was younger i had this whole list of oh-my-god-three-is-really-mystical-and-magical-in-my-family coincidences (like my parents have owned three houses and we had three cats and shit like that) but i no longer think that it's so amazing.

4. for someone who loves music so much, this is embarrassing: my first concert was new kids on the block in milwaukee when i was in middle school.

5. i have no idea what job or career i want to have. i should probably go to grad school and get a masters in something, but everything sounds really boring to me, or impractical and a waste of time and money. i'm not a huge believer in you-are-what-you-do, anyway. i have a job that pays me enough to have the kind of life that i want, and don't stress too much about how it's lame.

6. i am already sick of hearing about the november 2008 election. i don't want to participate until it is time to review the actual candidates' qualifications and stances, and then vote. it used to be that simple.

7. i detest: fennel/anise seeds, cantaloupe, honeydew melon, oatmeal, seedy tomatoes, most pickled items, green jelly beans that you want to be lime but turn out to be mint, tonic water, seltzer water, herbal teas (i have to be able to put sugar and milk in it or it's vomit to me), yellow raisins, ginger, goat, pretty much any candy that isn't chocolate or caramel, and i am very particular about the consistency of the bananas, apples and pears that i will eat. i am becoming more picky - but also more adventurous, as i'll try pretty much anything - with the food that i like.

8. i'm so tall that i have to buy my pants online, i often hit my head on low-hanging ceilings and beams, and my knees hate unforgiving seat backs in airplanes and buses. i alwyas have to adjust car seats, i can't sleep on short couches, and people ask me if i play basketball. while sometimes i feel like i have descended from the mountain and am here to destroy your village, i really do like being six-foot-one. i've got a theme song, i can always see at shows, and napoleon complex men don't bother with me.

okay, time to tag others. this will not be easy and i know that i will get no response from a few of these people, as their blogs are less about them and more about dead people, photos/art/music, people that piss them off, etc:

pos, mykljak, ally, ecf, miss misc (or buhster, or both of you), ea from rising spiral, eb from urban echo, and le from her eponymous website with her husband.

sorry guys!

totally inappropriate content. very nsfw. so they tell me.


god i have so many amazing links and stories to share and very little mid-week ambition to do it. it's so weird to have a wednesday off and then have to be back to work on thursday. actually, they let us out at noon on tuesday, so i went home, made lunch, watched a few episodes of the first season of the office on netflix, and proceeded to fall asleep on my couch for a few hours. i always make such good use of time off.

my blog was rated NC-17 by this online analysis tool (that i got from the glorious hum) for the words gay (7x) bomb (4x) dead (3x) asshole (2x) and slut (1x). oh really, pigfuckers? hahahahah. i think that they only measure the front page cuz i know i swear a lot more than that. i think that "gay" is what makes it so horribly inappropriate - the documentary this film is not yet rated totally demonstrated the hypocricy between how straight sex scenes are rated R while equally (if not less) steamy gay sex scenes are immediate NC-17s. both ratings systems are fucking dumb.

the most expensive home on the market right now is a $135 million ranch in aspen that a saudi prince owns. it's too bad that pos and i don't vacation in aspen, as we are in the housing market right now. well, not really - we just wanna see what's out there in chicago that we can afford and that we like. js took us out last sunday to look at some houses and our budget is somewhere in between neighborhood-i-have-never-heard-of-before and house-that-should-probably-be-demolished. i kid. it just makes me sad that the best house we saw didnt have a garage, was pretty far west, and cost $436,000 (which makes it an automatic no, thanks). it's really fun to look, though - some houses are straight-up crazy, and you'd have to be crazy to buy them. anyway, if you buy the $135 million vacay house, be sure to go to this obnox lady's tag sale (all tags blank, she probably adjusts the price for what you look like you can afford, or outprices you if she doesn't like how you look).

happy three-month no-smoking anny to me! other than that one night where i had three drags off of a parliament (i was drunk, okay?) and it tasted so damn bad and hurt my lungs i was like "EW. that's it. i really am done." and that's that.
more later. people keep sending me the funniest shit and i really want to post them but between going to BBQs and drinking miller high life light and, oh yeah, going to my job . . .