Wednesday, July 25, 2007

jorts, lolcats, video clips: i love life

you have no idea how frustrating it is to not have time to do the one thing that you really love doing: sleeping. also, keeping up with the blog. things ought to slow down now, so i’ll try to post more than once or twice a week.
it’s summertime, and summertime means JORTS!

so i don’t even remember where i found that “i can has cheezeburger?” cat photo i posted last time, and i had NO IDEA wtf it was or where it came from or that there is a secret underground cyberweb club of people who are into “lolcats” (click here for wikipedia page) and that there is an actual http://icanhascheezburger.com website (ab tipped me off to all of this, and i curse her for it). the site explains “Some people call pictures of cats with funny/weird or many other derived types of captions lolcats or cat macros. The practice of captioning, specifically, cats started many years ago on anonymous forums, most prominently called the *chans. Supposedly, the practice of posting and the actual type of these images was termed ‘Caturday.’” i had no intention of becoming involved in and thus silently endorsing something so insanely nerdy. some of them really do make me laugh, though. there are other variations of the lolcat phenomenon, most notably the walrus and his bucket. oh my god, why do i now know about this? as pos would say, “jesus wept.”

mj sent me this photo of the sammich-yearning kitty. so i guess that technically he is a lolcat? why must everything be labeled and part of a weird scene? can’t it just be a random photo with a stupid caption?

jmk sent me the opening scene (last item on this page) of the aqua teen hunger force movie (which had netflix written all over it when it came out), which is an updated version of the 1950s singing concessions reminding you to stay quiet and buy a hotdog. he believes that mastodon is the band playing, and he knows how much i love them (the creeping look of distaste on my face at pitchfork and deciding after a song and a half that it was time to go stand in the very long atm line and hit the bathroom. they were very loud so I heard them the whole time anyway.) i wonder if the guy in the mail room is into them.

only a wikipedia nerd who KNOWS that being into wikipedia is nerdy would find this funny, and i am one such person: a fake wiki page that lists all of the lame arguments that editors get into over the most minute details and triflin knowledge.

the japanese are totally crazy – and totally awesome. here is a clip from a game show where contestants play human tetris.

can't wait for this. i'll be sure to snobbily tell everyone i know that i was totally into little britain way before they were. similar: this shirt.

i received this photo from sp (magazine cover but still halfway NSFW) of the rad crazy fuck-you feminist beth ditto with the email subject line “oh my.” bc sent me this wife swap clip with a not-rad crazy (in a bad way) jesus freak over-emoter ranting and raving about how the other family wasn’t christian with some serious old-school fire and brimstone. his email subject line: “oh my.” is that the new polite way to say “this fat bitch is nuts”?

i'm reading the dive from clausen's pier right now and i really really like it. it takes place in madison, wisco, near where i grew up. i missed reading novels, but i tore through the gigantic stack on unread new yorkers that i had been hoarding for almost a year, so i can get back to the stack of unread books. i think i got so far behind on my reading because i gots a boyfriend last summer. now that the novelty has worn off, i can read on the couch at night instead of cooking him dinner and surprising him with tickets to shows and watching movies with him. hahahah. just kidding, pos - i like you more than books, and that's saying a lot.

lots of mascara running down my face for tammy faye. despite her easily-mocked appearance, marriages to cons, and personae, she was actually really kool. check out the eyes of tammy faye, which showed how she truly was a good christian, reaching out to the gay community, talking about aids, and never judging anyone else, even way back in the early 80s before it was fashionable to be a “compassionate conservative.” sorry you died too early, but thanks for the points. she really shouldn’t have been on larry king the day or two before she died – she looked horrible, and it felt like a weird freak show grasp for ratings. Which larry would NEVER do.

you’ve probably seen the wedding party doing the entire choreographed “thriller” dance (you can totally tell that the groom was the one who wanted to do it and everyone else just went along with it, since it was his dream since he was like seven to someday play the michael jackson role and be the head dancer with a large group of people backing him up in public and this was his only chance), but did you see the filipino prisoners do it in the exercise yard? vastly more fucked up. the “woman” in the white tank top alone makes me fear prison excessively. one night pos and i went for a walk and, upon rounding the corner, noticed that hydrate was playing the “thriller” video. hydrate is a gay bar (it used to be called, i shit you not, the manhole) and doesn’t have windows in the summer, just large open spaces that they cover with metal roll-down doors when they close. so we heard the familiar music and actually stopped on the sidewalk to watch the entire video, because even after 20-plus years and the hugely weird freak that michael became, that video and its zombie dance are still pretty awesome.

jmk sent this blog post, pointing out two elements of comic genius – the title of the post and the joke at the very end.

tb has hated corey haim for years, with good reason. he sent me this “video letter to his fans” (check out the really cheesy pool scenes – this wasn’t meant to be the trailer for a softcore porn?) and then later an IM that said “corey haim” and i replied “what? is he dead” and he said “worse – he has to live with that video.” so true. he isn’t looking so good these days, and his coked-up and cocky/retarded youth surely haunt him (if he has any self-awareness whatsoever, which is debatable after watching his video). oh my god, this is so tragic – click on “artwork” on his lame website – you can commission him to paint you a masterpiece (“Much like COREY's favorite painter, Pablo Picasso, his style is very unique”) – all you have to do is tell him your favorite colors and what your hobbies are. wooooow drugs fuck you up.

2 comments:

Eric said...

if you want to learn to speak lolcats, just go here:

http://speaklolcat.com/

the syracusan said...

I just spent an hour reading that wikipedia page about the lamest edit wars, and it's 4 AM on a weeknight. Shit was transcendent. It's stuff like that and the lolcats that keep me coming back.