Thursday, July 12, 2007


my "one" wayne coyne tells the onion av club how to survive an outdoor summer music fest. thanks wayne! i bought some small bottles of purell and travel-sized kleenex packets at target last weekend in anticipation of having to use port-a-potties at various music fests and neighborhood parties this summer. we went to the taste of chicago last week cuz we got free seats for the black crowes show (i love the song "remedy," which is the last song that they played, but most of the time i was talking to my friends or getting beer or wondering "how sick of singing 'she talks to angels' are you at this point, chris robinson?") and te told me, after visiting the portable wc, "i think they backed a horse into mine to use." funny, but puke.

jane is no longer. jane pratt (thrown out two years ago as editor-in-chief of a magazine that she named after herself) is calm and measured in her reaction (thinly-veiled glee). i used to think jane pratt was the shit. now i just think she is a piece of it. i can't really explain why it is that this still matters to me. i mean, don't get me wrong, it doesn't, i haven't even subscribed for a few years, but sassy was a big deal to me and then jane came out when i was in college, and i always wanted it to rule, but it never did. sigh. i'll stop caring soon enough. ps: i did buy the sassy book when it came out, but haven't read it yet.

the wapo slams the smashing pumpkins' show at the 9:30 club. i've never really given a shit about the sp - my sister bought all their albums, so if i ever wanted to listen, which was close to never, i'd just borrow hers - but i have enjoyed the "who does billy corgan think he is? he isn't even culturally relevant anymore, and he's still such a huge bitch!" indignation with the release of their latest album.

the puppetmaster behind the backstreet boys and n'sync is behind bars. i find it odd that his charges were all financial, and not because of what he did to music.

mr winehouse is (unsurprisingly) shady. also, i fear for amy's health - and her teefs. this post from someone who knew him a few years ago is funny.

lady bird johnson died. i now have 6 more points and am in second place. i need 64 more points to be in first place. i don't think i'll be winning this year, but the year is only a little more than half-over. while anna nicole was a big death this year (not a shock, just really sad), don't count out britney spears. bitch is such a mess.

i usually am not surprised and don't give a fuck when lame faux musicians rip off old un-hits and try to pass them off as their own, but it's pretty brazen, in the age of cyberwebbery and such, to think you're gonna get away with it. i had heard about the "girlfriend" rip-off, but check out this clear copy of a peaches song. avril is such a tard - those lyrics are soooo lame. she's so punk.

the wapo reviews the new spoon. if ga (x5) is anything like kill the moonlight or gimme fiction, it will be overplayed constantly at my house for the next eight months. i was able to find all but one track to download for free yesterday.

i'm not so sure i'm pro-death penalty (i'm probably anti- but, really, i'm so agnostic about most things that i'll just say that i wouldn't give myself the death penalty but have no right to tell others . . . hahahah that was dumb) . . . but i think it's interesting that china executes its former governmental officials who lie and cheat and steal and make decisions based on personal gain rather than consumer and citizen safety. i wonder if even the mere threat of that possibility would alter the way that our current administration in particular and the entire government in general operate. (probably not).

ewww. red bull tastes like liquid smarties to me, anyway.

i'm really happy to have a boyfriend, not just because he is supa awesome and keeps me totally entertained and still likes me despite knowing me better than anyone else, but that means i don't have to go on dates anymore. the year before pos and i got together, i went on like five dates, and they were all disastrous in one way or another. seriously - some of them were total head cases. i don't think either pos or i will ever break it off, but if it happens, i know where i can find more freakazoids to go out for an awkward drink with. or just cut right to the batshit insane chase and find a scientologist.

humph. i didn't know that anton lavey was selling insurance in seattle.

cd sent me a text recently that let me know that the bill for his dinner at a restaurant inexplicably arrived to his table in a return of the jedi script instead of a normal little fake-leather folder, and that i was probably his only friend who would be excited by this. in case this piqued your interest (hello fellow nerd), here is an awesome flickr album of arty vader masks.

the only big surprise of the ex-surgeon general's admission that the bush administration wouldn't let him do his goddamn job is that i now love dr. carmona even more now. i saw him speak in dc a year ago and i thought that he was a total badass and wondered why bush had nominated him - he was so chill and down-to-earth and had the best personal history (raised in harlem, dropped out of high school, was in a gang, joined the army, got shipped to vietnam, and then later went and got his GED, went to college and became a doctor, and worked with cities on disaster preparedness in case of terrorism). he didn't seem like the paper-pushing, finger-pointing, blame-shifting hypocritical fuckface that most presidential appointees are, and he seemed confused as to why he was named, too. he rules for telling it like it is.

music lists! top ten most annoying songs found here. agreed. have i ever mentioned that the first time i saw the "my humps" video i was in an akron hotel room for the shittiest thanksgiving ever, and i seriously thought that it was a joke, mocking the vapid and disgusting consumerism and skankiness of popular music? and then it turned out that the joke was on me? click here for the 10 most anticlimactic band reunions of all time. yeah, i don't expect to see a new pixies album out anytime soon; i saw loudQUIETloud and i don't think that those four people have much business trying to be creative with one another. and, finally, here are the top 25 worst band names ever. i think they forgot a few - like fountains of wayne, piss christ (i am reminded of this band because a guy on the el this morning had a piss christ pin on his backpack), goat lord, and o-town (because they were a manufactured pop band and are referring to orlando, which is probably the worst city in america). jmk just entered my office and i asked him what the worst band names he knows of and he said anal cunt. i said "umm, really? that's a band?" and he said they're friends with nashville pussy. he also told me about goblin cock, which i can't say out loud without laughing. i really like the word hobgoblin. i think it's a really useful diss for fugs that you hate.

i just looked up a.c. on wikipedia, and their logo made me vomit into my mouth.

1 comment:

mykljak said...

Of course I had to look (at the A.C. logo). At least it isn't in color. Or photographic. Or animated.

Gives me some ideas for my tribute band, Rectal Snatch.