Thursday, August 30, 2007

the unfinished post

pos made some comment about bloggers last night and i said "whatever, dude, you have a blog" and he said "i don't have a blog - i have a RANT." noted.

carol moved out. she is gone. in her wake are two empty apartments (empty except for the bugs) that look like they haven't been cleaned in at least 20 years. the landlord let some scrap metal guys come and take all of the ancient appliances. the doors were left wide open (of course) to the unit that she lived in across from me, and pos and i ventured in for a quick look. it looked like a crack house - peeling paint, disgusting bathroom, clouded-with-filth windows, everything just decaying. our apartments are very old but, when actually kept up, really charming - old fireplaces, built-in bookshelves and hutches, moulding and woodwork throughout. hers will require thousands of dollars in renovations. i would suggest torching it for the insurance money, but i think that would probably burn out my apartment, too. freaked out by the bugs we saw in her kitchen, and then seeing a bug on the rug under the coffeetable, i am miserable with the thought of vermin and nastiness coming to live with me now that she's gone. we even threw out my rug (it was only $5 on clearance at urban outfitters and a dirt magnet anyway, impossible to clean or vacuum) in disgust, because i don't want anything germy and nesty available for them to make a new home in. puuuuuke. when i first moved in i loved my apartment and was totally ready to settle in for a few years, but things change, especially when you don't plan on them changing. i'll be moving in with pos (!!!!!!!!!!!) in october, so at this point i just want to make sure that none of the little fuckers move with me.

excellent blog feministing posted this mad tv sketch that mocks the dangerous minds/freedom writers cliches of the nice white lady teacher who saves the inner city kids from themselves. this is awesome for me because my mom is actually a nice white lady who teaches alternative ed to kids who were expelled from the school district.

the onion av club discusses tv shows that were popular and then suddenly were forgotten or shoved aside (the o.c., twin peaks, miami vice, etc). the clip of arsenio hall (i loved that show when i was in middle school) interviewing vanilla ice is great - that bitch has always sucked, and i love how the entire discussion is about a beef between him and mc hammer. i can't believe that this was EVER culturally relevant. i like your spangly outfit, robert van winkle - i'm totally gonna shave some verticle stripes into my eyebrow tonight in homage.

i'll get you, pussy face!!!!

from popbitch: The Black Widow: Sheryl Crow's cold hand of fate

Perhaps Owen Wilson's real problem was to get involved with Sheryl Crow? Because Sheryl is the Black Widow, The Angel of Death. Sheryl and Owen dated at the turn of the century. Only seven years later Owen's life is in disarray. Join the club, mate.
* Ex-boyfriend Kevin Gilbert - died from autoerotic asphyxiation.
* Ex-boyfriend Lance Armstrong - testicular cancer.
* Crow had a hit with Leaving Las Vegas, based on a book by John O'Brien, who committed suicide soon after its release.
* Ex-boyfriend Kid Rock - has Paris Hilton sniffing around him now.
* She was Jacko's backing singer. Need we say more?

i have two options: finish this post or wait until tomorrow when i actually have time. i think i'll just post it and maybe i'll even find time tomorrow to write a new (and way better) post. YAY. we all win.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

“Great fury, like great whiskey, requires long fermentation.” - Truman Capote

tc got me the best xmas present last year: the onion daily calendar, one of those tear-off paper cubes. every day i get a good chuckle out of it, and i hang the ones that especially speak to me on my bulletin board. today's is good - an op ed column entitled "women have to stop starving themselves past the point of hotness."

pos and i recently went and saw a terribly juvenile and profane (in all good ways) movie, superbad, and one in all bad ways, the ten. superbad is awesome. the ten sucked so badly that, 20 minutes in, pos whispered to me, "if we leave now, we can still make the bourne ultimatum" - which, incidentally, was playing at a theater miles away. he now feels entitled to make me see a horseshit movie despite my objections as payback. the cast looked great, and i thought it looked funny in previews. i was wrong.

i love this craigslist post, and i love this one, too, for entirely different reasons. and i totally want to be friends with this guy, because he made me laugh.

here is another smoking gun mugshot collection of interesting shirts worn by interesting people.

i came across cnn explaining beth ditto to their readers and was touched by the gesture. i then went trouncing around looking for random beth stuff and found this video of her singing "sweet dreams (are made of these)" with mika in scotland last month, but it wasn't as good as it should have been. also, she writes a weekly advice column called "what would beth ditto do?" for the guardian. sigh. brits are so much cooler than americans.

i am very sorry that i neglected to give eb a birthday shout-out last wednesday. to celebrate, we went to north pond for brunch on sunday, which was a bit expensive and didn't totally blow me away (though i did enjoy my soup, i shouldn't have ordered the trout. not brunchy enough and i was jealous of everyone's french toast). that's okay, though, because one of my hobbies is going to overpriced restaurants. i can't wait to drag pos to otom, which is a more mainstream (and cheaper) version of moto. eb had requested months ago to get her a handbag for her bday, as i am a handbag fiend and she trusts my taste, but this has spiraled out of control for me. i still haven't found the perfect bag for her, and i am afraid that i might be taking this task a little too seriously. in the running are bags i found at aldo, nordstrom rack, that's her bag, and strange cargo. i need to just bite it and pick one already.

i love pineapples and vintage ads. i don't think that jezebel is really on to something here, but it would be funny if they were right.

jmk and i just ate lunch in our sad cafeteria room on the 2nd floor and pretty much just said terrible things about our co-workers and laughed. we also talked about halloween costumes and i said that i ought to carry around a box of alli and wear a shit-stained skirt and he said that i ought to walk around and drop "tracer foods" out of my skirt, which totally grossed me out and made me laugh, as he had sent me this random clip from adult swim a long time ago, in which dr steve brule tells you about tracer foods in his "digestive problems" lecture. the best work john c. reilley has committed to film (but not for long - the exquisitely-retarded-looking walk hard will be out at xmas, featuring jack white as elvis and paul rudd as lennon). check out "digestive problems" and then watch "cool clothes," "fruits and vegetables, brules rules on milk and on leaves, his report on cars, etc. digestive problems and tracer foods remains my favorite.

jmk had also sent me this a while back, noting that it's too bad i don't have a use for them any more. it's true - i haven't been a smoker since april 1. when i went to connecticut for work last week i got to attend a lecture and meet the dude who invented chantix. he's an awesome dutch middle-aged guy who looks like pete townshend and was really nice to chat with. he seemed pleased to meet someone who had actually used the drug that he spent 15 years in a lab creating. also, it is called champix in every country but the usa - the fda didn't like the name and made them change it. i AM a champ, though.

my friend ea sent this website out a while ago (i am cleaning out the inbox, or partially) and i was also both repulsed and amazed. i think that it's great for the disabled, the elderly, and terrence howard. what was even better is that his friend hit reply-all and said

You can play twinkle twinkle little star if you start with the older guy and move left. Here's the notation:
Old, Asian, Chump, Asian, Old, Old, Old
Asian, Asian, Asian, Old, Black, Black
Old, Asian, Chump, Asian, Old, Old, Old, Old
Asian, Asian, Old, Asian, Chump

wow. just . . . wow.

rm let me know what really caused the twin cities bridge collapse, and i'm not surprised, as BIRDS. ARE. EVIL. although, i will admit that this bird is amazing and awesome to watch - from a distance, on my computer.

yay! i love it when self-hating hypocritical flamers whose entire careers are based on persecuting other gay men are exposed for who they are! this story could only have been more awesome if george michael had also been there, fellating him. i bet his wife and kids are thrilled.

i'm sure you've already seen this, as it happened last friday during the miss teen usa pageant (you were watching, right? wasn't everyone?) and was sent to me many times, but it just doesn't get old. so pretty. so very pretty. and so fucking dumb.

what is it with grossly misshapen diseased chinese men? this dude's hand looks like a bag of penises (or huge dildos, actually). thank you, as always, jmk.

tb sent me this great interview with danny boyle - he talks about sunshine and the plans for the trainspotting sequel (rads).

nr sent me something very disturbing (and super hilarious if true) last month - tmz mentioned that hanson was oprah's worst guest ever. ummmm - really? worse than tom cruise? worse than james frey? worse than ANYONE ELSE EVER? which, naturally, really really made me curious, and i even asked a friend whose sister is a producer for the big o, and even he told me that she had never heard that - so either oprah employees are sworn to secrecy (most likely) or this story is just funny and wrong.

and, finally: the great debate of our time discussed. other than, naturally, "who's the boss?" i go with judith light on that one.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

"When you insult the Midwest - land of corndogs, casseroles, and all my favorite packaged food products - you insult me." - Augusten Burroughs

i am mad at ab for inviting me to join goodreads because now i am obsessively going through it, adding books i've read, writing snarky reviews, and pretty much not a) working or b) blogging, the two things i ought to be doing today. one because i get paid for it and one because it is my favorite thing to do. on a computer.
the wapo writes about two red-headed indie hotties who have new albums out (jenny and neko, of course). the new rilo kiley is . . . different. for them and for me. jury's still out - maybe i will fully appreciate it after we see them in september (very excited for that show). anyway, enjoy the talents of red-headed musicians while you can, because jmk sent me a link to this article, which claims that all gingers will be extinct by 2060.

when jmk sent that article he also suggested clicking on the video, also from reuters, about the chinese dude with facial tumors. um, that's more like "my giant blob face is melting off my body" disease. it's unbelievable, and makes me sad for him, but the same kid who used to hang out in the school library paging through the birth defects encyclopedia for the pictures is fascinated by this as well. watch here.

it is also jmk's birfday. happy special day jmk! thank you for all of the random forwards and musical suggestions. i want to hire this band to show up tonight when we go to the bar.

one of the chicago youth symphony orchestra kids who played the french horn during my morning jacket's lollapalooza set writes about the experience here.

find out how much caffeine it would take to kill you here. if you can possibly avoid drinking over 200 diet cokes a day, just remember that you will die someday anyway. i used the death clock and learned that i will die when i am 77. i'm okay with that - i was born in 1977, so it seems appropriate. plus i am never the last one to leave the party - no one likes the person that they have to turn on "purple rain" (the perfect get-the-fuck-out song) for.

this is one way to ensure that people remember you after you die. speaking of death, you think my boyfriend is morbid for having a dead pool (and corresponding blog)? he is no where near as obsessed as this guy, who sells "death hag" bumper stickers and has some random-yet-insightful info posted on his site. who knew that nell carter was interesting?

hipster musicans and artists reveal their guilty pleasures to blender here. sorry, i don't consider loving ween anything to be embarrassed about. other than that time i was driving my friend cj around in rural-ass new hampshire, and i played "spinal meningitis (got me down)," and she got really quiet and said, "my cousin died of that." whoops.

random video to enjoy, sort of - sia makes herself all fug by making a video that looks like it was recorded on a camcorder in 1986 after being inspired by peter gabriel's wins at the mtv video music awards. her bottom teeth freak me out. pos once told me that he has "summerteeth," and the only reference i had ever heard before is the wilco album, so i asked what summerteeth are and he said "some are over here and some are over there." haahaha - that is so cute. his teeth aren't that bad.

more later. if i'm not nerding out over books i have read, want to read, and am angry that i read.
and, yes, that is a photo of marley as a p.i.m.p.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

three examples of what's wrong with this world

i'm at the caribou coffee at the end of my block because i had to get up and get spoon tickets for when they play chicago in october, which went on sale at 10 on the ticketbastard. i love how the two tickets ended up being $64.66 when they were advertised as $21.50. my receipt says that there is a $1 facility charge - fine, the riv can have a buck, whatever - but then there is also a $7 "convenience" charge per ticket. that does not include, by the way, the $5.10 "order processing charge" and a random 56 cents in additional taxes. fucking ripoff. i'm glad i'm going to see spoon, but i don't think that there are a lot of bands that i want to pay more than $25 to see, especially since i try to go to lots of shows.

anyway, pos and i are going to wisco for the day and i am going to connecticut on sunday for work, so i'll make this quick.

bp stands for bastard pricks: they're justifying the fact that they get to dump more shit into lake michigan - "54 percent more ammonia and 35 percent more sludge . . . each day. Ammonia promotes algae blooms that can kill fish, while sludge is full of concentrated heavy metals" - by saying that it will create a whopping 80 more jobs. fuck you, assfaces. lake michigan is the largest source of fresh water in america, and big business will do whatever it takes to make sure that we all fucking die of lack of clean water, edible fish and breathable air. that's where i get my water. those are the beaches i go to. this makes me so fucking mad. durbin and emanuel are collecting names for a petition to bring to a meeting with bp on sept 4 - i know that adding your name to an online petition seems like an empty gesture, but please do it anyway - click here. and, better yet, of course, don't buy bp gasoline.

okay, on a lighter note, here is an update on carol, as i relayed in email to friends this week who requested her latest:

carol, the crazy, elderly hoarder who smells like cat piss, wears a crooked wig and wanders the halls in her pajamas who lives next door to me, is moving - not to an assisted-living home, where she belongs, but to a three-bedroom furnished (like she needs more stuff) house that her nieces and nephews convinced her to buy (presumably because it will be easier to inherit her money when it is all in one place, a house, rather than tucked away in stocks and stuffed into mattresses). her relatives, who all look like meth addicts from indiana, have been moving her and her floor-to-ceiling collections of utter shit out of the two apartments she rents for at least a month now. the smell coming out of the apartments, with all of the stuff being moved around in 85-degree heat, is incredible. i can't help but take a peek into the open doors when i pass them, and i have never seen a larger collection of worthless shit in my life.

poor deranged old lady.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

today's first song when i hit shuffle: the return

it's sector-9's birthday, and as a present, at sarah's request, here it is . . .

the long-sleeping feature that i really ought to get back to doing on a regular basis . . .

today's first shuffle song of the day!

"a rush of blood to the head" - coldplay

try to remember a time when coldplay were not over-popular (as in, your mom didn't get a burned copy of their cd from her bridge club friend), chris martin was not sting jr (ps i think sting is a moronic, holier-than-though fucktard) and not mr fishsticks, and they had yet to release the sleep-inducing x&y. remember? i do. i still love this song. it's beautiful.

i bought the first coldplay album right when it came out in the states in late 2000 because i had watched some random canadian music show on saturday morning tv that was touting the band as the next big thing and i have always been a bit britpop fan, and then went to some cheesy rock radio station fest in maryland that summer because they were playing. many in the crowd pelted them with water bottles, as they were waiting for good charlotte to come on (i'm not kidding). i stood next to a guy who kept making fun of the globe that they brought out on stage with them (much like the globe on the cover of parachutes). yeah, that's how low-budget they were at the time. the only other time i've seen them was in may 2005, when i forwarded all of my new york friends a link to an email drawing to win tickets to see them at the beacon theater, saying that they had to take me if they won. lk sent me an email saying "i'm your new best friend, bitch," and i flew out for the show. we were in the fourth row and it was great.

somewhere in between "yellow" and "clocks," they became monstrously huge, and i think that a rush of blood to the head is a great album, and one that i have overplayed and am pretty much sick of. brian eno is reportedly working with them on their fourth album, so that ought to be interesting. i'm a big baby about going to see bands at venues that are too large (i wasn't all that into this white stripes show, and lollapalooza isn't all that great if you really truly are there for just the bands), so i suppose that i wont try to see them ever again, unless i can get tickets to see them in a club. i'm spoiled like that.

also: i don't disregard musicians' political and social activism, as long as it's not annoying (a fine line indeed) or seems insincere (half of those "rock the vote" and "vote or die" tools aren't even registered themselves). i thought that their cameos in shaun of the dead (watch clip here) about performing for ZombAid was funny and showed them making fun of their own earnestness, which i can get behind.

also: i hate the word "coldplay." i don't know why, but their name bothers me. it's not just because its nonsensical - it's that the words cold and play look and sound dumb when glued together.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

short, but swwwwwwwwweeeet

other bloggers entertain me all the live-long day: kate from the glorious hum posted a fun summer dance mix - download or die, as she would say. also, a mix consisting of songs that refer to small things - how cute! as for mj of jacquoff, i stole this link that he originally posted featuring unfortunately-placed advertisements, because i loves it.

i'm a big fan of the bad review. it's probably an immature schadenfreude complex i have, but i love a well-crafted diss and would much rather read the red-flagged reviews on metacritic than the green ones. i love how this review from nme described just how dark the editors want you to find their new album: "a record as serious as cancer, Parkinson's, multiple sclerosis and foot and mouth, all wrapped up in a terrorist warning note."

rm said something really random and funny when she was visiting for lolla - for some reason, dita von teese came up, and she said "you know, whenever i see her, i think 'now there is one classy bitch.'" and she's right, and she's also surprisingly not a dumbass - read here.

this is my new favorite video. atmospheric and creepy cool, and i love the song. very donnie darko.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

things to watch, things to read.

finally have some time for a little bit o proper blogging.

well, brooke astor died. thanks for hanging in there for so long, girlfren.

the duggar family does it again - number 19. they sure like to fuck for being religious folk. i love that it took this long to use "jennifer" as a name - after using the obvious J names for girls like janna, jessa and jinger. yes. JINGER.

here is a really funny interview with the former editor of playgirl. she seems really rad and smart - "to dispel one aspect of the biz people tend to speculate about, let's just say that fluffers are no longer necessary thanks to pharmaceuticals . . . Truly, this has been the most unusual job I've ever had, and I don't know if I could ever have another 9-5 job, because what do I do for an encore? What would top this?" - and she has the best kurt vonnegut story (he did not pose for the magazine, in case you were wondering).

a nice surprise: this blog links to me. i think they're in estonia. umm, what language is that?

thanks to dlsited (my favorite celebretard news site) for pointing out this smoking gun archive of mugshot dummies and their appropriate shirts.

also from dlisted: clowns are fucking scary. reminds me of the classic/vlasic (get it? see what i did there?) pickle fear segment on maury.

on days when i worry that maybe i'm not good at my job, i can rest easy knowing that at least i'm not this guy.

rather than new secrets this week, postsecret has a short film that explains the project, shows examples of cards sent in, and offers a moving tribute to the strange and beautiful project. i wish that they had chosen a song other than sia's "breathe me" - first of all, it seems kinda literal ("ouch, i hurt myself again") and also because the last five minutes of six feet under owns the cultural reference rights to that song.

now that my cable has been so rudely disconnected, i am forced to keep lame network shows on as background noise. honestly, i had no idea that there were so many "talent shows" greenlighted for television, and if you include the specialty shows, where hairdressers try to out-perm one another and screaming prima donnas try to out-decorate the competition, every freaking show is about people trying to prove that they're the best at something. i will say this - butterscotch was a part of mike patton's crew when we saw peeping tom this spring, and she was an amazing freestyler and crazy-special-effects rapper, and i see that she is in the running to win that moronic america's got talent show, and i hope she wins. also, i have never watched so you think you can dance, but this junior boys song is rad and the choreography is amazing. i still hate all reality and competition shows, though. check out both videos.

sigh. gotsta go. more later maybe.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Thursday, August 09, 2007

from an email forward

what do you do when your "adorable baby daughter" is a dead ringer for chris farley?

hahahahahha. mean. true.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

lollapalooza wrap-up: everyone wins

best first band to watch on a sunny friday afternoon, sipping the first of many beers and slathering spf 15 onto shoulders: son volt

best use of tap dancers, as well as a certain aesthetic and sensibility that, as my friend cd said to me the first time we saw them, back when they were still rocking the colorful choir robes, that this is what would have happened if all of those branch davidian kids hadn't been burned to death and grew up and formed a band: the polyphonic spree

best band that i had never heard of and will never bother to look into again: against me! (please note the exclamation point is part of their name, which i do not condone, unless you're !!!, in which case i love your punctuation)

best backstory to what could easily be dismissed as trendy dancy mashup throw-away music but is actually really political, activist and awesome. you wont ever hear someone as vapid and shitty as fergie or gwen stefani write a song with a chorus of "pull up the people, pull up the poor": m.i.a.

best blues by two midwestern white kids who aren't the white stripes: the black keys

best (and most obvious, as they're always playing at his house) segue into seeing daft punk: lcd soundsystem

best performance by robots: daft punk

best indie rock band that my friends got to open for once - tapes n tapes

best underestimation by festival planners as to how many people will go see this band on a small stage: cold war kids (rm and i stood behind waist-high shrubs the entire show)

best hip-hop show featuring a tuba: the roots

best redheaded slightly weird piano-playing singer-songwriter who isn't tori amos: regina spektor. couldn't fucking hear or see, gave up and plan on trying to see her in a club sometime. wrong venue for her. too bad lilith fair died. btw, we saw tons of middle-aged lesbians this weekend. i couldn't really decide who they were there for, but patti smith would be a good guess. on the flipside, i counted zero dudes holding hands, and rm counted a grand total of like 15 black people (artists performing did not count). as a total aside, check out how dated the 1999 lilith fair website (still up and running?) is - i love how much better web design has become in 8 years.

best avant garde but still somehow accessible and fun performance: the yeah yeah yeahs

best set for me on saturday, despite a downpour, because i got to hear "the beast and dragon, adored" and "they never got you" - spoon (photo above)

best bombastic britpop with a lightshow and borderline cheesy video effects, so i essentially felt like it was 1996 all over again, which i liked: muse

best band that i had never heard of and will actually look into again: rodrigo y gabriela. phenomenal classical guitar with a hardcore rock twist. i stared at their hands on the screen in awe - they move them like they're boneless

best strange juxtaposition, and not just because she's an anorexic jewish brit with sailor tattoos and a drug problem who sounds like a 1964 black girl from detroit, but because her set was at 2:30 in the afternoon on a 95-degree day and all of her songs are about crying, losing and hurting: amy winehouse

best spazzy but also somehow hott dancing: !!! (check out the photo above)

best use of a children's orchestra, as well as a candyland-inspired backdrop while wearing dapper purple suits: my morning jacket

best band i only got to hear from the bathroom and beer tent lines: tv on the radio

best band that i don't even like yet somehow knew 80 percent of the songs they played, as well as best appearance by dennis rodman: pearl jam

and, randomly:

best moment i wasn't there for: when js and sf met britt daniel wandering around the field on friday afternoon, and they stopped him for photos, and he took pictures of them with his iphone (see photo).

best example of how my parents are bizarre: they came to chicago for the day on sunday because it was their 35th anniversary and db was in town from denver, so they really really wanted to see us. i don't think they understood when we kept telling them that there were going to be SEVENTY THOUSAND PEOPLE in grant park that day, but they got it when they saw. we were able, surprisingly, to find eachother and hang out for an hour or so outside the park.

best nyc friends (a title that shall remain theirs until others come visit me): rm and jms

best festival food and drink: i have to say that the vegan soy chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream was amazing. and the chicken on a stick was tasty, as well. the chicken tenders, not so much. the xxx vitamin water was good when i wasn't drinking actual water, and i drank some bud light (only beer choice) but got mighty sick of that shit after three days. plus they cost $7 for a 20-oz cup. BUT it was a souvenier cup. of which about 30,000 of them were left scattered across the field as we were leaving sunday, and a self-righteous hippie kept yelling at people "you brought trash in, so take some out with you!" he was right, but annoying.

best t-shirt i saw this weekend: "stop wars" in the star wars font. also, a picture of che and the words "suburban white kids unite"

best overall thing about lollapalooza, besides the music: people watching. seriously. one of my hobbies, and tens of thousands of people to see. their terrible tattoos are astounding to see, as well as the sad folks who dress up as cats and vampires and peter pan so that people will notice them because hey, any attention is good attention, right? check out the dude's tat in the photo to the left, if you can avert your eyes from peter, who's probably calling his mom for a ride - is that an unfinished insane clown posse tattoo, or just a run-of-the-mill scaryass gnome?

best guess for next year: i will forget all about how utterly sick to death i got of all of the fucking people, dropping all that money, walking miles in horrible weather, standing in long lines for the privilege of buying gross beer or peeing in a gross plastic box, and how it's fun to see bands at festivals but nowhere near as fun as actually going to a proper rock show.

special thanks to df for the photos. sorry that britt daniel is gonna steal your wife.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

the sound of settling

i went to the doctor today - i had an 11:15 appointment. around noon or 12:30 they put me in an examination room. i didn't see my doctor until 1:45. that really fucking sucked. i did, however, breeze through the latest edition of the week and read an old new yorker (i found another stash of old ones, almost two years old, squirrelled away like a secret eater with a box of little debbie oatmeal pies,* and i read it cover to cover.

what's interesting about this new yorker is that it features a short story by someone who i went to college with. or, we were there at the same time, or maybe he was there the same time that some of my older friends were, and they remember him, while i do not. my brother did freshman year at the college i went to, and he knew him. the commonality to people saying that they remember him is also that they fucking hated him - he was the 19-year-old sort of douche who carried around a leather attache case. his published story is the sort that you can only write if you spent some time in the peace corps or simply bumming around africa for le experience and to gather material for, say, your debut new yorker short story. getting your short story published in the new yorker is like the holy grail for writers (and, since i use lazy metaphors like "the holy grail," i will never be published in the new yorker), and an amazing feat for a previously-unpublished dude in his early 30s. it's hard to be happy for people who you are jealous of, as well as for people who suck.

anyway, i read this in the week:

"Bad week for station identification, after the federal communications commission issued the call letters KUNT to a new hawaiian tv station. the station's owner has already filed a request to have the call letters changed."

i would totally open up a tv station just so it could have that name.

the bad news is that work is still too busy, my free wireless is still missing, and pos' house doesn't have internet. the good news is that there is "free" wifi at the caribou coffee at the corner, and even though you have to spend $1.50 on food and drinks an hour, that is an option. maybe scissors happy will just have to become caffeine-and-muffin fueled. i have tons of links to post, plus my very important and exceptionally insightful analysis of lollapalooza this past weekend. i'll get to it when i can, promizez.

* pos is fucking funny. he came in from my back porch this weekend to tell me that a woman drove by with an open box of oatmeal pies on the seat next to her, and he thinks that she might be a secret eater.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

the sound of silence

too busy to blog. work is amazingly crazed (i'll be here until 7:30 tonight, and then i'm gonna go see sunshine with pos and tb at the movie theater not too far from my office). thank jebeezus that i got to hire my project specialist to help me out . . . but he doesn't start until the 13th. so until then i'm kinda fucked. also, going to lolla this weekend (ny friends arriving in less than 24 hours) so i took friday and monday off and have a ton of shit due to my boss before then.

and did i mention that i can no longer steal free wireless in my apartment? i think the tenant with the unlocked signal moved away. the nerve!

i miss you. t-t-t-t-t-t-t-tears.