Tuesday, August 28, 2007

“Great fury, like great whiskey, requires long fermentation.” - Truman Capote

tc got me the best xmas present last year: the onion daily calendar, one of those tear-off paper cubes. every day i get a good chuckle out of it, and i hang the ones that especially speak to me on my bulletin board. today's is good - an op ed column entitled "women have to stop starving themselves past the point of hotness."

pos and i recently went and saw a terribly juvenile and profane (in all good ways) movie, superbad, and one in all bad ways, the ten. superbad is awesome. the ten sucked so badly that, 20 minutes in, pos whispered to me, "if we leave now, we can still make the bourne ultimatum" - which, incidentally, was playing at a theater miles away. he now feels entitled to make me see a horseshit movie despite my objections as payback. the cast looked great, and i thought it looked funny in previews. i was wrong.

i love this craigslist post, and i love this one, too, for entirely different reasons. and i totally want to be friends with this guy, because he made me laugh.

here is another smoking gun mugshot collection of interesting shirts worn by interesting people.

i came across cnn explaining beth ditto to their readers and was touched by the gesture. i then went trouncing around looking for random beth stuff and found this video of her singing "sweet dreams (are made of these)" with mika in scotland last month, but it wasn't as good as it should have been. also, she writes a weekly advice column called "what would beth ditto do?" for the guardian. sigh. brits are so much cooler than americans.

i am very sorry that i neglected to give eb a birthday shout-out last wednesday. to celebrate, we went to north pond for brunch on sunday, which was a bit expensive and didn't totally blow me away (though i did enjoy my soup, i shouldn't have ordered the trout. not brunchy enough and i was jealous of everyone's french toast). that's okay, though, because one of my hobbies is going to overpriced restaurants. i can't wait to drag pos to otom, which is a more mainstream (and cheaper) version of moto. eb had requested months ago to get her a handbag for her bday, as i am a handbag fiend and she trusts my taste, but this has spiraled out of control for me. i still haven't found the perfect bag for her, and i am afraid that i might be taking this task a little too seriously. in the running are bags i found at aldo, nordstrom rack, that's her bag, and strange cargo. i need to just bite it and pick one already.

i love pineapples and vintage ads. i don't think that jezebel is really on to something here, but it would be funny if they were right.

jmk and i just ate lunch in our sad cafeteria room on the 2nd floor and pretty much just said terrible things about our co-workers and laughed. we also talked about halloween costumes and i said that i ought to carry around a box of alli and wear a shit-stained skirt and he said that i ought to walk around and drop "tracer foods" out of my skirt, which totally grossed me out and made me laugh, as he had sent me this random clip from adult swim a long time ago, in which dr steve brule tells you about tracer foods in his "digestive problems" lecture. the best work john c. reilley has committed to film (but not for long - the exquisitely-retarded-looking walk hard will be out at xmas, featuring jack white as elvis and paul rudd as lennon). check out "digestive problems" and then watch "cool clothes," "fruits and vegetables, brules rules on milk and on leaves, his report on cars, etc. digestive problems and tracer foods remains my favorite.

jmk had also sent me this a while back, noting that it's too bad i don't have a use for them any more. it's true - i haven't been a smoker since april 1. when i went to connecticut for work last week i got to attend a lecture and meet the dude who invented chantix. he's an awesome dutch middle-aged guy who looks like pete townshend and was really nice to chat with. he seemed pleased to meet someone who had actually used the drug that he spent 15 years in a lab creating. also, it is called champix in every country but the usa - the fda didn't like the name and made them change it. i AM a champ, though.

my friend ea sent this website out a while ago (i am cleaning out the inbox, or partially) and i was also both repulsed and amazed. i think that it's great for the disabled, the elderly, and terrence howard. what was even better is that his friend hit reply-all and said

You can play twinkle twinkle little star if you start with the older guy and move left. Here's the notation:
Old, Asian, Chump, Asian, Old, Old, Old
Asian, Asian, Asian, Old, Black, Black
Old, Asian, Chump, Asian, Old, Old, Old, Old
Asian, Asian, Old, Asian, Chump

wow. just . . . wow.

rm let me know what really caused the twin cities bridge collapse, and i'm not surprised, as BIRDS. ARE. EVIL. although, i will admit that this bird is amazing and awesome to watch - from a distance, on my computer.

yay! i love it when self-hating hypocritical flamers whose entire careers are based on persecuting other gay men are exposed for who they are! this story could only have been more awesome if george michael had also been there, fellating him. i bet his wife and kids are thrilled.

i'm sure you've already seen this, as it happened last friday during the miss teen usa pageant (you were watching, right? wasn't everyone?) and was sent to me many times, but it just doesn't get old. so pretty. so very pretty. and so fucking dumb.

what is it with grossly misshapen diseased chinese men? this dude's hand looks like a bag of penises (or huge dildos, actually). thank you, as always, jmk.

tb sent me this great interview with danny boyle - he talks about sunshine and the plans for the trainspotting sequel (rads).

nr sent me something very disturbing (and super hilarious if true) last month - tmz mentioned that hanson was oprah's worst guest ever. ummmm - really? worse than tom cruise? worse than james frey? worse than ANYONE ELSE EVER? which, naturally, really really made me curious, and i even asked a friend whose sister is a producer for the big o, and even he told me that she had never heard that - so either oprah employees are sworn to secrecy (most likely) or this story is just funny and wrong.

and, finally: the great debate of our time discussed. other than, naturally, "who's the boss?" i go with judith light on that one.

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