Wednesday, December 19, 2007

items

we never made it to the hollyday party we were supposed to go to on saturday night - we drove a few miles in horrible snow and wind - people were only going 35 or 40 on the interstate - and we turned around and went back home. we were watching tv and a clearblue easy commercial came on, and the tagline was so fucking amazingly funny i was bawling i laughed so hard (i had also just drank half a bottle of wine). watch it here. brilliant.

pos had me go to the american girls store to get his niece a gift certificate, and some businessman douche ahead of me in line said to the cashiers, a little too loudly, "so where's the adult room with the blow-up dolls?" they all lightly chuckled to his completelyfuckingobnoxious joke, and i just stared at him with pure hate. he then paid for $240 worth of shit for the darling little girl in his life. ick. ick. ick.

yumz! quick recipes for 101 easy-to-make appetizers! since it's from the new york times, the most respected newspaper in the world (err, it is still, right?), i don't feel matronly or lame for posting this - i feel well-informed and fascinating.

popular mexican musicians keep getting killed, most likely by drug gangs. why can't someone get on this north of the border? i've got a list.

i had a brief love affair with the retardo splendor that is "lolcats" (that walrus and his bucket thing is still funny to me) but i had forgotten about them. and then i saw this, in which one replaces housecat/walrus with mangled third-world-country baby and . . . well, not totally lol, you know?

tb sent me this - it's rap and hip hop, in graphic detail. i dig the threadless shirt that visually demonstrates "mo money mo problems."

an actor from my all-time favorite movie, beyond the valley of the dolls, died in november (michael blodgett wasn't exactly a household name, so i just heard about it). god bless you, lance rocke - "golden hair, bedroom eyes, the firm young body, these are the tools which he plies his trade." if it had been z-man i would have been truly crushed. pos posted a shout-out to lance rocke on the dead pool page. speaking of dead pool, i have two weeks to have a lot of old people (or just one or two young ones) die - i'm in second place, but trailing by 68 points. i have been working on the 2008 list and it's a good one.

tori seriously is the HBIC - she kicked two bitches out of her show because they didn't appreciate it. tori fans are VERY INTO HER, so it was probably rather disconcerting for her to see two front-row-dwellers walking around and not worshiping her/cutting themselves. watch video here. also, the ear farm has given her song "yes, anastasia" the 8+ treatment (where they write about and post songs that are longer than 8 minutes). who knew that's what the song was about? i've never tried too hard to decipher tori's lyrics - they're almost always about god, sex and relationships, just described in very strange terms.

speaking of ear farm, here is an amazingly great mp3 mix: 10 songs by artists that sassy featured under their "cute band alert" feature. the ear farm dude hadn't known what sassy was and said, "If I was a girl growing up in the early '90s I'd probably be lamenting the loss of such a well put together magazine directed at young women." preach on, brother. i never tire of mentioning how much i loved that fucking magazine, and how bitterly disappointing it is to become an adult (prior tirade in this post).

pos went and cut down a tree for us this year when i was busy with some lame weekend work shit, but we got to decorate it together. maybe next year pos and i will attempt the mountain dew tree. he has few vices, but diet dew is one of them (puke). he was so proud that he found two cans of diet code red mountain dew a few weeks ago. i will blame these sodas when he dies.

here is a photo gallery of kids squirming and crying to get away from the super-creepy dude in the white beard and red velvet suit. santa is pretty traumatizing - you have to sit on his lap and tell him that you're nice and he should give you stuff? you ask him to enter your house while you're asleep? he can ALWAYS see you? get that fucker away from me.

elaborate performance art or new depths of self-obsessed narcissistic "celebrity" (term used very loosely) worship? not only can you buy vincent gallo's sperm and sex, you can also buy his childhood bedspread, as well as random junk from his basement. the charles manson painting is . . . not very good.

i am unfamiliar with livejournal communities, but this one looks promising - pages of tacky and retro shit from old catalogues.

great article and interview with nick hornby about the differences between his new book, being marketed as a "young adult" book, and his other works.

do you feel bad about downloading songs for free? do you feel like you just cheated a struggling artist, like madonna, out of her hard-earned money because you didn't pay for that "like a prayer" mp3? now you can send a thank-you note and some money, guilt-free, with this highly entertaining program: dear rockers. a sample excerpt, for axl rose:

I’m sorry, I hope you won’t invite me to “get in the ring,” but I downloaded some of your soon-to-be-finished songs from the soon-to-be-released Chinese Democracy. It made me feel good, it made me feel cheap and it made me feel guilty. So in return, I wanted to give you back the $17 (one dollar for every year you have spent polishing this gem in the studio/writing/recording/ranting). We all know that this is going to be the greatest album of all time. (Sorry, Kid Rock).

karl rove must really fucking hate hilary, because he wrote a memo to obama on how to beat her. he's right. for the first time. no hates for hill - i just don't think she can win, and i am SO OVER the republitards and the utter shambles that our country is in.

1 comment:

Matt said...

hiya scissors happy. thanks for the links! glad you enjoyed the Sassy mix - I just read your "how bitterly disappointing it is to become an adult" rant and looked around at a few other posts on your site here. nice link curating, yo. keep it up and thanks for reading.

(aw, come on... Diet Dew!!!)