Wednesday, January 23, 2008

it's hump day.

sometimes dead pool isn't all that fun(ny) - i feel genuinely bad about heath ledger. no one had him on their list, of course, because his death is too random and unexpected. here's a fun fact: the westboro baptists - also known as the "god hates fags" psychopaths - are planning on picketing his funeral (brokeback mountain, gayness, etc). expect hilarious signs about how he's now in hell. these are the same fuckfaces who protested matthew shepard's funeral, funerals of american soldiers who died in iraq (god is punishing america for how gay we are), funerals for trapped miners (shafts, i guess?). i can't wait for them all to die and to realize that god doesn't hate fags, he hates them.

good to see that no one is already trying to cash in on a young actor's sudden death . . . oops, too late. stay klassy, best buy. (thanks to jk for link).

on a lighter note . . .

don't you hate it when you and your partner are at a bar and talking to a tasty blonde who you're both really into, and they're married to a hott piece, and you want to ask them to swing, but not sure if they'd be down? just look to see if they're wearing a discrete, klassy swappwatch. they are! score! thanks, rm, for the link. which one did you get?

my friend ea found a way to submit a blog to make it read in lol-cats language. here is scissors happy - be sure to read how retarded the dead pool list becomes.

this is intense - a world clock that ticks away at the births, deaths, global warming, species extinction, abortions, hiv infections, cars produced, etc etc. why can't it be heartwarming and magical - like flowers bloomed and cotton candy eaten and crack rocks smoked by winehouse?

repulsive: ever wonder what a group of greedy bald eagles who dove into a truck full of fish guts looks like? here ya go. thanks rm.

ever since i read kitchen confidential during xmas break i have had a little crush on anthony bourdain. here is a rad excerpt from an onion av club interview:

AVC: Have you eaten anything particularly disgusting in the last few episodes you've shot for No Reservations
? Anything that's more disgusting than the still-beating heart of a cobra, say?

AB: Well, last season, the Namibian warthog experience was as bad as it's ever been.

AVC: Was that the anus that you ate?

AB: You know, pick a part. It was all equally full of sand and crap in every mouthful. And it just had this permeating odor of burning reflux.

AVC: You once said that the most disgusting thing you've ever eaten was a Chicken McNugget. Do you think the warthog asshole was worse than that?

AB: Given the choice between reliving the warthog experience and eating a McNugget, I'm surely eating the McNugget. But at least I knew what the warthog was. Whereas with the McNugget, I think that's still an open question. Scientists are still wondering.

you've probs already seen this, cuz i've been really slow at posting, but here is a livejournal thread that cd sent me of people posing with album covers, and a lot of them are really clever and funny.

another excellent onion feature: random rules with dave attell, where they flip through his ipod and ask him to explain. i loooove him. i went to one of his shows at the improv in dc in probably early 2001, and one of my friends knew the waitstaff, so we always got to sit in the front row and get free drinks. he was doing some bit that required audience participation, so he asked me a question and he loved my response so much he kept talking to me through his set and after the show. had i not been shy and sort of morally normal, i probably could have ended up having a really interesting night. ah well - youth is wasted on the young.

i was pretty excited to get if i should fall from grace: the shane macgowan story from netflix, but when it arrived it was broken in three peices (just like shane's teefs!). i'm actually surprised this doesn't happen more often - those little red envelopes aren't terribly sturdy. we watched it over the weekend when it was for reals like -5 degrees out, and it wasn't very good. i DID get tickets to see the pogues when they come to town in march, though. it's a pretty early show (doors at 6:30) on a wednesday night. and i am going to get more drunk than i have been in a long time. that is a promise.

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