Thursday, February 07, 2008

"baby, i love you, but: are you retarded?"

the "baby, i love you, but: are you retarded?" quote was sent to me today by my adorable boyfriend, pos, who kept insisting that led zeppelin are playing bonaroo, which was incorrectly reported yesterday, even after i sent him this correction and the bonaroo website and the explanation that LEZ ZEP is playing, not LED. lez zeppelin is a lesbian led zep cover band. it's awesome that he kept insisting that i was wrong and that i am the retard. he did retract his statement (eventually).

that's okay, though - i deserve it, as i yelled "you are a MORON" at him last week - he was driving erratically in the alley and almost hit a light pole (i had already told him to slow down and to please stop his excellent project of driving fast in reverse and then forward again to flatten all of the snow banks in the alley near our garage door).

stuff from the cyberwebs:

enjoy how dumb you are with this map of the world and very few seconds to identify the country you're supposed to click on. togo, anyone?

i hadn't had the pleasure of visiting in a while, but i'm glad i did, because that shit never fails to amuse. check out the leathery old granny in a bikini that was posted on jan 29 (barf) and the totally bizarre ass implants posted on jan 30.

ha ha: alice in chains used to look like poison, tori amos was totally a smelly pirate hooker, and dr dre was kinda effeminate. here are six musicians whose lame first attempts at fame are funny and awkward. you should totally click around the site its from, - they have some mighty amusing lists and articles.

i like to read/waste time, and i like the truly random; ergo, i dig the rules of thumb website - where people give unsolicited advice and impart knowledge like "It will be a bad winter if squirrels build their nests low in the trees" and "When you're playing blackjack, assume that any unseen card is an 8."

being mean to courtney love will never get old.

i have these big beautiful dreams of starting a really unique and awesome participation blog that people really enjoy and it attracts thousands of visitors a week and people can share and upload stuff - like postsecret without being creepy. these guys have the right idea: the fail blog (link stolen from goldenfiddle), which is photos of failure and is supa funny, and a good-concept blog where readers submit photos of them jumping in art museums.

my (very sweaty) mayor wants to make chicago world-class and fancy and shit. good luck, bubs.

robin morgan, who is a rad old feminist and who was awesome when i went to one of her readings in 2000, wrote on the total bullshit directed at hills for being a lady, and she's right. i'm not the biggest clinton fan, but if she's the democratic nominee, then she's my girl. still pulling for obama, though. in case you haven't seen it, here is the "yes we can" song that he made with his famous friends - i just think that transposing the song over obama's speech is cool. yes, i am aware that this man is also responsible for the black eyed peas, so i can't say that he is not evil, but i like his work here.

i am so obsessed with the 50 latest photos posted to live journal page. it makes me feel like i don't know anything about the rest of the world, and also that we are all the same. lots of russian and japanese people use lj, apparently. and stupid morons like the stoner girls who post photos of themselves getting high. not a good idea, ladies. i guess i'm just lucky that the internet didn't exist when i was that age - i just wrote embarrassing and ridiculous shit in my journal and the retardo zines my friends and i made that had a circulation of like 25. just like this blog!

anyway, i also score the best clip art and photos off of the last 50 lj photos page, like the weird baby do's and dont's in the past few posts and this post's trainspotting poster. i actually have that poster - it is laminated and i had to tear it in half to smuggle it out of the only decent bar in kenosha when i was in college. i have hung it in every apartment and house i have lived in, the last poster i allow myself to keep as decoration - it is currently on the inside door of our pantry. i'll open the door to find something to cook for dinner and end up thinking in a scottish accent.

these photos are so fucking cute i could cry.

cleva: erykah badu's new video has her reenacting iconic record art. she makes a killer grace jones. erykah is rad. we have the same birfday! different year, though.

1 comment:

SarahReznor said...

moron, retard... can you feel the love ;)

did you check out Jubilee yet...? you might like 'em...