Monday, March 17, 2008

please note that MY gangland memoir was not a hoax.

i've been busy. other than the usual distractions from blogging (job, nightlife, sleeping) i have also been spazzing about planning a wedding. we set a date (oct 11), got a church (full-on catholic mass), found a venue (a 20-acre garden with a nice reception hall in the town i grew up), hired a string quartet (my requirement was, i shit you not, that they learn to play the verve's "bittersweet symphony" for when my dad walks me down the aisle), and we're meeting with a dj tomorrow. the dj is going to have to be imported up from chicago; this sample party planner is the typical wisconsin dj's idea of how to do his job. do i want him to play the hokey pokey and "wind beneath my wings"? well, thanks for asking first, i guess. all of the father/daughter dance songs are really creepy - "i loved her first"? "daddy's hands"? "butterfly kisses"? vomitocity: 11.

people always be sendin me some links and shit, yo.

from jk: dr steve brule is a wine expert, and a drunk.

from tk: the assimilated negro interviews the brilliant snark behind i am happy that he seems like a thoughtful person, not like some bloggers, who, while funny, seem a bit lacking in the anger-management-skills and sell a lot of ad space: "this site pokes fun at ME. that's why I use pictures of myself. those aren't taken out of irony. this is the shit that I do. I need to call myself out for all of the stupid shit that I take for granted. why do I need $300 bike rims? why is a $10 sandwich considered normal?"

useless: an online quiz to find out what punctuation mark you are. when i first took it i was a , but now i am a ?. how :

i was never a fan of the coreys back in the day - i was a river phoenix fan, because he seemed so much more intelligent and talented. the giant cruel irony is that he's the one that died of a drug overdose, of course. have you seen the pathetic ad that "the haimster" (more like hamster - that dude is a fug rodent midget) took out in variety that is begging for work? he has totally busted meth face, and he couldn't even put down the cigarette for a photo shoot? he looks dressed to rock out to creed circa 1998. in response, tb sent me this video, one of his favorites, which features corey a good 15 years ago, totally slow on downers, where he explains that he has put his partying days behind him and he's in good shape and on the ball. is it common practice in LA for has-beens to produce ads that remind people that they're not dead (yet)? d.e.p.r.e.s.s.i.n.g.

jk sent me this "spot on" (to swipe a goode olde english term from the jolly good chaps - can you tell that i've never actually been to the uk?) celebration of jeff from coupling. what i like about that show is that it was a miserable fucking failure (FOUR episodes aired) on nbc, which used the exact same scripts as the totally awesome and celebrated bbc version of the show. it is the purest proof that americans "don't get" british humour. i really really hope that when little britain usa airs, it's just as funny as the original.

it really has gone too far: thanks to my boyfriend FIANCE pos for the depiction of the last supper featuring star wars characters. happy easter and may the force . . . etc.

it's shit like this that makes me love the internet: garfield minus the cat equals the depiction of one very alone man.

and it's shit like this that makes me love humanity: minnesota smokers found a loophole in the smoking ban where smoking in a performance is allowed. so if you want to light up at the bar, just wear a costume, or speak in an accent, or recite something. i'm pro-smoking ban but LOVE this.

they might be losers, but they're smart: failed presidential candidates discuss what's not being talked about enough.

good news for all of the jermajesty jacksons and pilot inspektors of the world: your name won't fuck you up (too much). your parents, on the other hand . . .

an awesome time-killer: word to your website.

a flashback to my last apartment building: an article on hoarders. delta burke had 27 climate-controlled storage units full of porcelain dolls? horrorshow! and a little hard to believe - i mean, do designing women reruns really pay that well?

strange and enjoyable: food fight video.

fantastic news: the metro, one of the best venues in chicago to see bands, is ditching ticket master. it's about time that monopoly got busted up - i am sick of paying almost $50 to see a band whose list ticket price was $27.50.

i probably would have rather seen the real "internet people" edited together for the song, but this is a strangely nostalgic animated video about all of the fools that we have forwarded to our friends over the past few years. btw, i still don't understand "it's peanut butter jelly time," and i'm still waiting to think it's funny. a clip of a morbidly obese child dancing to it only slightly improves its watchability. thanks for the link, sf - see you in hell.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

a word to the wise: find your dress as soon as possible! -e